Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

As I sit here n think of the 7 years of your life I have missed, I blame no one but myself... I was lost in a point of my life where I was not really ready for a child.. Nevertheless I chose to make it happen not knowing that I wouldn't be there when u came into the world.. That I would miss the next 7 years of your life.. Now I am faced with the situation of having to fight to just be in your life when I am denied by the other... Not knowing what u look like.. Not knowing what u like or dislike... I have spent nights praying n crying because I want to be in your life... I never meant for it to turn out this way or be in this situation... I have dreamed of hearing that beautiful title from u "daddy"...i have dreamed of walking hand n hand with u as my little solider.. Wearing the same matching clothes...I HAVE HURT just by seeing other little boys your age calling out to their daddy... But deep down I fear the rejection.. I am but a stranger to  u and when I get that chance to see u what will u do? Will u walk away? Will u stay distant? Will u hide behind her because I am but a stranger to u?... It's not your fault that you don't know Im your father... Not your fault that I made some bad choices that caused me to miss 7 years of your life.. Just know although I have never met u I LOVE U son and I think about u always.. And I will fight to be in your life until it is accomplished.. I'm sorry I never meant to hurt u or miss 7 years of your life.... I can't get those years back n I will always regret that but I want to be in the rest of your life n love u to the moon n back.. A million times over..