Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I had always loved you and always will, but hardly notice me, you told them I was not your type you also told them I was lousy with no brains he shouted at me and called me a stalker. You hissed when I passed you cover your nose each time I passed your front like I was a dead body, you not only broke my heart you hurt my soul and never wanted to notice me. 

Finally you noticed me and you held me so tight like I was loved you told me you always had an eye for me and I smiled like a fool at those cheap talks you never meant, you told me you love me you drew me closer to yourself I smiled with smiles and my heart was mended my soul a weakened once more, I would call you most times you slept off while the conversation was still going on.

Finally I gave up myself for you, I screamed with pain but you just stood stagnant giving me an appealing look then I realized my pain didn't matter to you, you called me by my name and told me it was time to go I was afraid deep down I asked is this how it was, I left your house thinking about you all the way I had mixed feelings I felt empty I never knew the worst was coming I tried so hard to ignore my spirits warning.

You started ignoring me and never called me, and when I caller you where with other guys putting it on loud speakers so they would here how I was begging for your love, I still did show you love yes I remember love I did show you. 

I would ask if you where home and you will ignore me and tell me you where busy, I had something urgent to tell you I had told him I am pregnant, he cut the call on me and for sometime he tried so hard to avoid me but my belly showed. You dragged me to that clinic though I resisted, in less than 30 minutes my baby was gone the doctor had taken it from me with your consent, I suffered deep trauma and you pretended you still had my back.

You did make up for sometime, I began to go through your social media chats monitoring it one by one, like a watchful dog I monitored everything you did like I had no life I became a mad woman who wanted love but never got it from her lover
Finally though left me with no good byes, you just stopped calling and never picked my calls.

Looking back at what I did for love, I never  blamed my daughter for being the way she is now, I pulled her close and told her my story we both wept together, I am so sorry mommy, I promise never to be obsessed with no man again, with smiles in my eyes I hugged her tight to my breasts like I was never going to leave her alone again.

I never did leave her alone in this cold wild world, I hunger on to her like a clone of myself now she is getting married and tears in my eyes, I can happily die now because she learnt from my obsession now she became a queen of her emotions, not the usual slave I was and things never got worst for her like the way it did for me.