Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I feign to be happy all the time although my ambition to be happy is really on hike.The fears and confusions what it would be if I let this depression linger for good in my life.    Friends' laughs and jokes make me forget all things for a short moment but soon its contagiousness never goes away it always comes back .I couldn't find a remedy for it .
Brokenness in my family has been since my childhood and mom always argue with dad.. Tears on mom's eyes inspire me to work real hard,meanwhile it Depresses me because I couldn't get off those pathetic eyes..I cry all the time when I get home that I couldn't take responsibility and bring peace and happiness to the family ,to get rid of all the stuffs that keep going on..
I always aspire to become a doctor one day,but I feel like its just a waste dreaming about it because I couldn't make it come true.I hardly slogged with this depression and it made me more depressed because I couldn't grant a successful footstep  to my youngest sister.I don't want to be me again and just want to die,even though I ask God for help,I don't understand what does it mean how to be alive?