Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

   My life drastically changed, when I was, but, 11 years old. I don't remember much from that night, except the violence, turmoil, and blood that had become bigger than any of us could have ever imagined. 
   
   My mother was married to a monster. She married him, because at the time, she needed to provide for all five of her children and my four older siblings. She also needed to provide for other children, that she had not given birth too. These childrens' parents were going through their own troubles. Many of them turned to the harder, nastier, drugs. Like, cocaine, acid, and so on.... They needed a hand and even though my mother had a nightmare of a husband at home, strung tight on alcohol and some harder shit of his own, she took them in, like the mother hen she's always been. 
  
   Many times, we, her children, would not dare have friends spend the night. For, we knew the monster our mother kept in her bed, to make sure we all were fed, housed, clothed, and out of the State's clutches as much as possible. She did not want her children to live the life she, herself, had to live, as a child. She had to live a nightmare as a child, because she had her younger siblings to worry about then. My mother being the oldest sister and all. The Matriarch of the family. That has always been my mom. With her own children to worry about, times were tough. Yes, she was used to being the mother hen, but with her own childrens' lives at her hands, she hadn't the slightest clue on what to do, just that these children were her world and she would give up her own life, to make sure they had all of theirs'. Shit was more serious now, more than ever. 

   One fateful night, my brother thought it would be safe, to do just that. It was his 14th birthday, after all. And he wanted a normal childhood. He had taken great care in protecting his friends. However, he wanted shit to finally be safe. We all did. No more screaming in pain from our mother in another room. No more new bruises, cuts, and weariness from our mother. No more empty beer cans in every room of the house. No more mysterious blood splatters on the dining room table, where the monster would slam her face into every other night. We wanted peace and quiet. We wanted our mother to be happy. We, ourselves, wanted to be truly happy for once in our lives. Mother's make some really hard decisions, while raising their own children. Decisions that had sounded good at the time and ended up the wprst ones, yet.