
My Cry For Redemption
Read Count : 20
Category : Poems
Sub Category : N/A
I'm starting to think that I should really change my name;
This gut wrenching feeling when I hear it stays the same;
I'm not the pretty little girl that I used to be;
Straight As and honor rolls,
'The perfect little Blondie';
I didn't know,
i trusted you,
I was thirteen;
Acting older than my age,
Maturing simply;
Painful memories,
Silent screams,
The perfect symphony;
I should've known, I didn't know;
Through your mask, pedophilia bleeds;
Your voice sends shivers up my skin,
Spiders crawling from within;
I'll take your life but that's a sin,
A night of stolen innocence;
The night when violent thoughts were born,
A devil wreaking havoc in a silent storm;
You asked me if I wanted you to make me cry;
A broken nod,
A new picture,
Showing children grotesque porn;
Now in my head you live rent free,
An all consuming flame that just won't leave me be;
I bleed myself at night hoping to put you out,
It's not my fucking fault, although I'm still in doubt;
You looked through me and whispered that I couldn't fucking tell;
Had your hands up on my body,
I'm in fucking hell;
I closed my eyes and hoped for sleep,
Hoped for death-
I hoped for peace-
I feel so gross,
Feel disgusting;
Ripping skin from my body,
A hell that beckons peacefully;
Now, Every time I'm touched,
I'm fucking thinking of you;
Tortured memories that I have to fucking live through;
It's like the way a smell takes you back when you were young;
Ironic memories,
Life without a tainted tongue;
Now, I can't fucking breathe;
Drowning in an ocean of the blood you made me bleed;
Just want some retribution,
I'm fucking sixteen;
I don't think I deserve this,
Going fucking crazy;
Sandpaper on my body,
Your hands were everywhere;
I felt you underneath my skin,
You don't belong there;
You don't deserve to see the fucking tears you made me cry;
Don't deserve to see the blood spilling from my eyes;
I know you fucking loved it, and that's what made it worse;
The devil came and played with me and left me fucking cursed;
I know you wanted me to bleed,
You wanted me to hurt;
You don't deserve my body,
You don't know what I'm worth;
I get panic attacks that wreck my fucking body;
I'm seeing fucking red,
My visions getting spotty;
I think I bled too much tonight,
Should leave a note,
But what to write?
I fall asleep,
Grip the blade tight;
I mean it's what he wanted,
Right..?
~RaeVyn H3llfire~
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