Category : Stories

Sub Category : Drama

Ah don’t know what happened. But the morning Eftir the party Billy became completely unreceptive. He cannae see hear, see or talk. Ah don’t know how. We nivir saw what happened. Ah wis up at the hospital with Callum and Ashley so ah couldnae tell ye. He couldn’t’ve got involved in a fight because his maw and da took him tae the doctor and found no scars or bruising. His condition is psychological more than anything. 
Been tae see um yet? Ah ask
Whae? Callum asks
Billy ah reply 
Naw
Wow some pal you are 
Fuck off! Have you? 
Aye
When? 
Yesterday
Aw…How is he? 
Completely unresponsive ah sais 
Huh 
Is that why you’re no going?
Whit? 
Because he cannae see or hear ye?  
Naw! Ah wis… Ah don’t know.
His folk wir talking aboot putting him in intensive care 
Fuck off! When? 
Don’t know really, he’s better off there anyway. No sitting around aw day staring at his reflection.
Reflection? Ah thought he couldnae see Callum sais confusingly
Well his maw still reckons that he can still see himself in the mirror ah sais 
But he cannae see us? Callum sais 
Aye ah reply
Huh, that’s a queer one right enough 
Aye, it’s weird 
Thir wis a knock at the front door. – Ah’ll get it Callum sais. Callum opened the door tae see Robbie standing thair. – Awrite Rab? Callum sais. – Naw, can ah come in? – Aye callum sais confusingly. – Who was it? ah sais. – Its Robbie He sais. – Awrite Robbo? Ah sais. – Naw, Ah’ve fucked up man, ah’ve seriously fucked up. – How? Whits happened? Ah sais. – Its Lucy He sais. – Who? Ah sais. – The Lassie he’s been seeing Callum sais. – Whit the S3? – Yes he sais grinding his teeth thegither. – Whit aboot her? Ah sais laughing. – She’s two weeks pregnant he sais. Me and Callum: Eh? – Aye he replied. 
Shit Callum sais 
Aye, shit indeed Robbie sais 
Whit ye gonnae dae? Are ye sure it’s your bairn? Ah sais 
Aye, we done a DNA test 
How did ye dae that when it was still in the womb? Callum asks 
Trust me ye dinae want tae know 
Oh 
Aye, and the thing is she doesnae want tae get rid ay it 
Eh? 
She’s only fowerteen! 
Ah Know! That’s what ah sais tae her but she’ll no budge 
Shit Callum sais
Double Shit Ah sais 
Triple Shit Robbie sais
Then Callum’s da walked in the room - What’s shit? Callums da sais. - Aw, hey da Ehhh………. Callum stutters. - The Fitba result last night Ah sais. - Aye, that Callum sais. - Aw yir talking Fitba Callum Eh? His da sais. - Aye He replied. –Good His da sais walking awey. Callum looked as though he’d shat himself. – Anywey, did ye hear aboot Billy? Robbie sais. – Aye, perr fucker eh? ah sais. – Aye, ah saw him yesterday. He wis looking at the mirror hauf the time. Robbie sais
You saw that a’knaw? Ah sais 
Whit? He sais 
Did you see him looking in the mirror? Ah replies 
Yeah, how? 
Cos ah saw that a’knaw 
Really? That’s odd, ah thought ah wis only wan. 
Callum wis looking at us confused. His stupid eyes squinting through his specs. 
Listen tae you’s eh? He cannae look in the mirror if he’s blind, 
How dae ye ken that tho? He might still be able tae see himself in the mirror. Robbie sais
Oh aye? Then why can’t he see you’s two? Callum sais 
Because his condition is psychological! Ah sais 
Ah ken that! But it doesnae make sense Callum sais. How can a man able see ehsel but no see ehs pals?
Look! Why don’t we jist go airt thair tae prove tae ye, that he can he ehsel? 
Ah would, but Ah’m busy today he sais 
Aye, whit? Huving a wank? 
Naw, shagging yer deid maw actually  
Ooft mate that’s a bit ruff. Ah sais
Whit? He sais worse than me! 
Nah, its awrite James she wis cremated
Awrite so I’ll my cock in her urn then eh?
Good luck. But its empty! We scattered her ashes up her Arbroath Robbie sais.
Ooft ah sais
Callum took a wee minute tae respond - Billy’s hoose? He sais - Billy’s house! Me and Robbie replies. Ah don’t know why these fuckers hing oot wi wan another. Ah mean its like whit ma maw used tae say “If ye’s dinae get alang. Then thirs nae point hinging oot wi each other”. Somebody should tell that tae Liam and Noel Gallagher. Because those arse bandits dinae seem tae git along. Anywey, whair wis ah? Oh aye! Billy. So we decided tae drag Callum tae Billy’s place tae make um believe that Billy can see ehs sel. – Whits the fucking point in talking tae um if he cannae hear us? – Shut up! Robbie sais. The street that Billy lived in wis bogging. Thir wis homeless folk begging fir yir dosh, seagulls everywhere gieing the fingers and a Break in wance every two weeks. – This is Paradise! Robbie sais. – Aye, you’ll fit right in Robbie Ah sais. – Ye think? He sais Surprised. – Aye cos this street’s full ay Junkies and paedophiles like you! Me and Callum laughed. Robbie face went red. – FACK OFF YA BUNCH A CUNTS!! AT LEAST AH’VE SHAGGED!!! – Fowerteen year aulds dinae count mate Ah sais. – Aye Callum agrees. – Look! Ah’m no a fucking nonce and that’s the end ay it! – Then why’s yir burd fowerteen then mate? Callum sais – BECAUSE AH DIDN’T KNOW THAT! AWRITE?!? He sais. – awrite calm doon mate! Ah sais. – Right let’s get this shite ower wi shall we? Robbie sais. – Right, go on Callum knock the door ah sais. – Eh? He sais. – knock the door? - How ah’ve ah tae knock the fucking door? – Because, you’ve no um yet. – Och, Ah’ll dae it! Robbie sais 

Robbie knocks on the door but no one opened it. – Are they in? James sais. – should be thir car’s thair. Callum replied – Eh lads Robbie sais. – Whit? Ah replied. Robbie points to window which hud been smashed. – Shit Callum sais. Thir wis a curtain behind the smashed window. Robbie, carefully put his hand through the smashed window and pulled the curtain back. – Whit dae ye see? Ah sais curiously. The Eyes on Robbie’s face widened. – Whit, is it? Callum sais. Robbie looked awey and pointed the windae and whit did ah see? The deid bodies ay Billy’s Parents. Blood wis splattered aw airt the walls ay the living room. A handprint oan the door leading through tae the stairs. Ah could huv vomited right there oan the scene. But due tae ma Emetephobia ah couldnae. – Fuck Callum sais. – Fucking shit Robbie sais. - Wait whairs Billy? – Oh aye! Fuck! Robbie sais. Robbie wis aboot tae climb through the windae but Callum stopped him from going any further. – Naw! He sais. – Eh? Do you not want tae ken whit happened – Aye, but folk might think wir breaking in! – He has goat a point Robbie. – Well whit else are we gonnae dae? He sais. – Oh ah don’t know. Here Callum what else could we dae in this situation? Ah sais sarcastically. – Hmmm let me think, oh aye!. – PHONE THE POLIS!! We both sais tae Robbie. – Naw! Fuck the Polis! He sais. – How? Ah sais – well ah don’t want them knowing that Ah’m a junkie! He sais. Ah smack masel in the face. – We’ll no tell thum aboot that! Callum sais. – This is aboot Billy no you! Ah sais. – Aye, but they’ll talk ages tae git here! Robbie replies – So? Its better tae wait than go in! – But Billy might be deid! Robbie sais. – Look we’ll tell them aboot Billy jist dinae fucking worry! Ah sais. – Ok Robbie sais. 

We all settled oan the decision aboot phoning the polis. Although, Robbie didn’t seem satisfied with it. We headed back tae Callums and phoned the polis. Ah gave um ah recap oan whit happened and told thum we wir jist going in fir um. The Lady oan the other end took our Names and promised us that the officers wid find oor pal. Aboot five police cars arrived oan that evening. They searched the hoose and took photographs ay the bodies which wir in the living room. Then one officer came up and spoke tae us. – I’m sorry boys, but we couldn’t find your friend. He sais in a posh Edinbronian accent. – Whit’cha mean? – We’ve searched all over the house and we could not find him. He sais. – Did you search in his cupboard? Robbie sais – What? The Officer sais confused. – Ah mean that’s where ah would look, that’s were he hides his porn! He sais. – Robbie! Callum sais. – Well like I said we’ve searched everywhere in that house, not a single sign of him. The Officers sais – That’s impossible ah sais – Sorry? The officer sais – Well he can’t or see or hear anything Ah sais – Really? The officer. – Yes ah reply – May I have a word with you in private? He asks me. – Eh… Aye, sure ah reply nervously. Ah walk over with him to chat to him privately we walk over to the crime scene tent next tae the hoose and we start talking. – So, I’m just going ask you a few questions James ok? – Ok ah reply – Have a seat he sais. – Right ah reply.  Ah sit doon nervously thinking aboot what he wis going to say. – Ok my first question is: How long have you known Billy for? He asks 
Since Primary 1 ah sais 
What year was that? He asks 
Well it must’ve been aboot 1982 
Hmmm you’ve been friends for while eh? Did he know that you and him were friends then? 
Yes, of course ah sais confused. Look he’s no been deaf and blind through oot his whole life. It happened ah couple ay weeks ago at my pal’s gaff. Ah don’t exactly know whit happened. But Robbie just found him completely unreceptive lying oan the flair in the bathroom. 
Is that so? He sais 
Yes, ah replied 
I don’t know about you but that Robbie friends of yours seems a bit odd
Yeah, very odd ah replied 
He asked me few mair questions and let me go. Ah went back airt tae Robbie and Callum who wir sitting on the kerb. – Whit wis he asking ye? Callums asks. – Oh, He was just asking me how long ah knew Billy for and that ken? – Aw awrite then he sais – Here let’s go, this place gives me the creeps Robbie sais. – Well said Rab this place gies me the Heebee Gee bees Callum sais. – Aye, ok Ah sais. – Did he really jist say ‘Heebee Gee bees’? Robbie asks me – Yep, ah think he did ah reply. – What a fucking queerhawk. We walked doon the dodgey street at 10 o’clock at night feeling pretty scared. Callums Hoose wisane to far fi Billy’s so we wir pretty fine. We decided tae sleep ower Callums that night hoping maybe we could sleep on the fact we couldn’t find him. We Arrived at Callums 10:23 pm and headed tae his bedroom. His ceiling and his walls wis filled with posters of bands such as Primal Scream, Some indie Band cawed ‘Oasis’ and Nirvana. - Nice posters mate. – Cheers he sais. - Whit dae ye want tae dae? Robbie asks – Sleep. Sleep, fir a fucking week. – You ken whit Callum? Ah couldnae huv sais it better masel Robbie sais as he turned the lamp aff. 

Ah don’t remember much aboot the day Eftir, except Robbie going aff his nut at me fir telling the polis man aboot um. – Mate why the fuck wid ye tell um that? He sais. – Yeah, that wis a bit wrong James Callum sais. – Well, ah wis only telling what happened wi Billy. Ah sais Callum leaned forward towards me and whispered: - Ye didnae mention the thing aboot Robbie did ye? Ah jist looked thum. – Did you? Robbie sais. Ah looked at them for another minute and sais: - Well, Ah’m no gonnae lie tae ye. – Fir fuck sakes James Robbie sais. – Whit? Ah sais confused. – Mate you’ve goat Robbie in some deep shite Callum sais. - YOU DO REALISE IF AH’M FOOND GUILTY AY SOMETHING THEN AH’M TOTALLY, ONE HUNDRED PERECENT FUCKED!!! Robbie yelled. – Look Robbie, ah wis only saying whit hud happened at the pairty, me and Callum wirnae thair fir the rest ay the night cos we hud tae go up tae A&E tae get Ashley’s nose fixed. Ah sais – WHY THE FUCK DO YOUS CARE ABOOT HER ANYWEY?!? He yelled – Because, she stood up fir us Robbie Callum sais – AH WIS ONLY HUVIN A FUCKING LAUGH AND THAT SLUT HAD TAE INTERVENE!! Robbie sais. Ah could feel ma blood start tae boil in ma veins. – DON’T CALL ASHLEY A SLUT!! Ah sais – Oh aye, WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDNAE HUV BEEN UP THE STAIR IMPREGNATING LUCY!!! Callum shouts. – What? Robbie sais. Ah pulled a nervous look oan ma face. – Callum! NO! ah yell – WHAT?! Robbie yelled. He stood up and flipped the coffee table, it smashed and glass went everywhere. – ROBBIE THAT WIS MA FUCKING COFFEE TABLE!!! Callum yelled. – Are ye fucking mental?? Ah sais – Oh aye, Ah’m mental awrite, MENTALLY SANE!!! – do you no mean mentally ‘insane’? – Well! AH’M MORE SANE THAN YOUS TWO CUNTS!! He sais – MOAN ROBBIE CALM DOON THE DAMAGE IS DONE!! – Oh aye, that’s very easy for you tae say James!! – Whit ye oan aboot Rab? Ah sais. The cunt takes a swing at me. Ah fall tae the flair. Ah can tell that ma nose is bleeding. “Fuck” ah thought. – WHIT MAKES YE THINK THAT YE CAN TOUCH MA BEST PAL LIKE THAT YA CUNT!! Callum shouts – Jist comes with the part of being a junkie he sais. – CALLUM RUN!! Ah yell. Callum bolted oot the hoose. – Get Back here Callum!! Robbie sais in a creepy voice smiling as he starts chasing him.


                                                      *

The Chase
 
Ah can feel Robbie behind me. He’s holding a bit ay broken glass in his haund and he’s chasing me wi it like a grey hound oan speed. James is back at ma hoose pure greeting cos his nose wis Broken by Robbie. Ah cannae keep running like this forever. If this cunt really thinks that he’s gonnae chase me aw ower Polbeth and West Calder, then he’s wrang. Ah’m starting tae run ootay breath. ah need tae lose this fucker otherwise if ah stoap noo them Ah’m humped. Ah notice a 26 aboot leave the bus stop. Ah dart Eftir it thinking: “PLEASE STOAP, PLEASE STOAP!!”. Ah caught wi it and patted on the door begging tae let me oan. The Bus driver opened the door and ah gave um bus pass and sais: - Go! GO! FUCKING GO! – Whits the aw the commotion? The bus driver sais. – Ah’ll explain later jist fucking drive!! – Ok he sais. Robbie starts running for the bus. – DON’T LET THAT CUNT ON HE’S TRYING TAE FUCKING STAB ME!! Ah yell. The bus driver looked in the mirror and saw Robbie with the broken glass and started driving. The bus speeded awey fi the stop at max speed and a nearly fell oan ma erse. Luckily ah wis haudin oan tae a pole otherwise ah would ay hud a broken tailbone. Ah could see Robbie in the distance kicking and screaming, pure raging. Ah swear ah could almost make oot whit he wis saying by reading his lips. “THAT CUNT!! THAT FUCKING CUNT KNEW AH NIVIR WORE PROTECTION AND HE NIVIR FUCKING TOLD ME!! WHAT A FUCKING DICKHEAD!!!”