Life Circumstances; Circumstances Of Life. Read Count : 54

Category : Stories

Sub Category : Drama
Realization

This morning I woke up and felt odd, you were different, a complete stranger. Don’t understand what happened to those who were once soulmates and today are nothing; no warmth, no love, just emptyness in the room remains between them. You’re a memory of beautiful moments that felt like dreams come true, the sight of a baby smiling is what you were to me [not anymore]. Don’t hate you, that I’m sure, for it is with you I learnt the meaning of love, however I cannot call what we have today that, more like routine, a duty, an absurd fantasy that can only be real inside our minds. An ilusion of every little girls dreams [to marry dress in white, in the arms of someone who gives her his lastname], yes that’s what this is, [an attempt fixiation of the irrereparable]. The cold that surrounds me cannot be warmed up by your torch, its flame is too small; what exacly happened I don’t know but your presence is depleated [so exhausting], yet I dare not leave your side. 

Wanting to walk out the door, run to a place I can call home anywhere but here, that door seems so far away and you’re too close [smuthering me]; dark feelings masked with plesant smiles and a warm plate of food on the table, I’m still here with you, somehow I cannot leave for this habit is stronger than love [rutines grows deep roots, that are hard to pull off].

Is it right? to stay….
is what we’re doing correct or am I being cruel?
many question without answers running through my head.
Maybe the decision of departure is what’s best; a goodbye kiss and we part our own ways. 
This happened for a reason and it was beautiful while it lasted, its time for its end, everything has a stop, and this is its completion?
so many questions and not a right answer.

Sometimes we like the outcome of things, sometimes we have a disdain towards it, other times is this, a decision to make [to remain is masochism, yet leaving seems impossible]. 

Many questions floating around and not a single one to grasp, stuck in quicksand and slowly sinking down, the rope is within reach somehow I cannot grab it.

You chose for the both of us 

I loved you more than me; you were like the blood flowing through my veins [vital to me]. I believed that I couldn’t live without you, your name was stuck in my brain. Your eyes were the sun and air [my oxygen]; I thought you were my all and now this feeling is gone. One morning I woke up, it was cold and you were gone; the blinds fell off, you saw this too and decided to walk. There I stood infront of an empty room and a goodbye note [mocking me], I realized that when you were here I was still alone, only solitude filled this room. I was fire, you were ice and everytime I ignite you put out my flame with your snow [nothing shoking there].

I can now see what I confused with love was false; you gave me nothing at all, I sure felt small. I thought that as long as you’re here this plight would be okay to withhold, as long as you were happy my misery was alright; everything was in my head [I implated that in] and I chose you over me, you chose yourself instead and decided to walk away. Everything change the day you left, the day you left was the day something inside of me died [I was reborn]. The day you left, the rain pour around me, it was the best day of my life. Never felt so free like the night you werent here, the day you left I finally loved myself instead.

As time passed me by life taught me not to bend my will, of my desteny I learnt to hold the reins. When the sun hid I became my own light to luminate my pathway and I am the empress of my dreams again. As the years passed I learnt to defend myself on my own [you were no longer in control, I was no longer declawed]. As I paved cement on the cracks of the walls, sandded them and made them strong again, no weights, no mud could hold me back anymore. Although my emotions are like the moon; everchanging, my steps became firm like the mountains that never change.

A new life without you

Why are you back here ? The house is too tiny for the both of us. I really don’t know what you want from me? sadly I’ve got nothing to offer you here. When I look into my past I don't know how I got there, but here I stand alone, tall like a tree everytime the wind hits. Empty words, blank pages on the floor, false promises, that is all that stands between us now. Why is is it that when I can finally breath on my own, you have decided to suffocate me? 

Sorry but there’s nothing here for you to stay.
The innocence is gone,
The little girl is grown,
I learnt to walk on my own
The day you left what we once called home got burried along and now is gone.

It's funny to see you now that you’ve left your pride behind [shocking at first]. You don’t look like you did yesterday; such a pety aspect a fallen throne give. Once so imponent, feeling like you own the world and now kneeling down with your head on the grown; some people learn late I guess, we’re not infinite and what goes up eventually must come down. I gave you everything that I could, you made your choice, informed me last, I had to move on, and now so should you. Sorry stranger today you can’t be my friend, sadly that’s not an offer I’m willing to put on the table, it would been differently if you had heard my plead, when I was begging you “please stay” I cried for days wondering what did I do to make you fade away [for your I was willing to stay], how did I felt short for you to fly away.

No….lonley person I can’t give you anymore of my days, unfortunetly I don’t have what you want. It would have been something else if you had come when I was wanting you to stay. When in my soul the daggers of your oblivion wounded my ego. You left me on the ground and from the soil I gather my strength, stood up and remade myself. Today I’ve got nothing to give you; the little girl that once loved you died along time ago, the person you see today is not who she was yesterday; there’s the door do what you’re good at and walk away, you’ve made your choice and now it’s my turn.

Who is he, you say,

Dear stranger if you must know, I’ll be frank with the both of you; this person next to me is the one that made me forget someone that made me feel empty and small. This “thief” you call made me forgive [you], the one who left me on the floor with my wings broken into pieces; he picked the pieces up, glued them together and loved their beautiful imperfections. He showed me that although my heart have scars and my youth is gone, I was still worthy of admiration. This “usurper” became my blanket when I was cold, he tucked me in next to him and filled my empty soul like no other had ever done before; he melted my fears away, he is nothing like you. If you must know who the person next to me is, he is the one who showed me that from broken dreams love can be reborn again. I don’t hate you stranger for it was with you I learn what love and solitude was; I thank you stranger for it was because of your desicion to roam that he came into my life, as my roots became deeper you decided to fly, I had to move on and so shoud you, do what you’re good at and fly far away.

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