Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I have to get up, but I don't want to. I wish I could just close my eyes and sleep forever.
This is supposed to be a great holiday.
Of course this is me. 
My life always has been and always will be this. 
Something always happens to ruin my marraige. It was not even my fault this time.
It's like someone out there does'nt want me to be happy or to be loved.
Am I destined to be this sad forever?
Forever longing, forever wanting?
Wanting to be loved that way?
I am starting to think that kind of love never existed at all.
That it was just me. That it was all in my head.
A onesided thing?
I was crazy. How could I have lost my heart at sixteen to the only guy I thought I was safe with?
A man I will never see again.
A man I will always, always love. Despite everything we both did?
I wish I could tell him face to face how very sorry I am.
Will I ever get over losing him if I'm still not over him in almost twentyeight years?
Will I ever be?
Yes, to me his name had meaning. His name was love.
A love that my heart felt.
Then his name turned into sadness.
A sadness that my heart felt.
Sadness that turned into grief.
Grief I feel every day of my life.
The only name now that remains in my heart forever.

Silent Angel.