Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

It's been almost four years. Four years since his eyes locked with mine. I still don't know why he looked at me that way just before he left.
I wish I knew what was going on in his heart and mind that night.
I wish I knew what made him change into that type of guy. The type I never wanted him to be.
To say that it does'nt still hurt would be a lie. I just try to hide it as best I can, but there are times that I wish I could just drown myself in tears.
I wish I could cry without having to explain why, without upsetting someone, but I'm not allowed to. 
I only have my writing to somehow ease the pain.
Not that it will bring me any answers.
All the years has taught me this one thing.
To never trust anyone ever again.
No one is as they seem.

He left my life for good, but he did'nt leave my heart.
How can I explain that?
How can I explain that he was the only one I fell in love with when he first kissed me so many years ago?
How can I explain why thinking about him still hurts so deeply?
Knowing he will never change.
It's like grieving someone who died.
In a sense he did, and I wonder if this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life.
Living with this kind of grief that is now part of my heart forever.

Silent Angel