Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Drama

                                               August 12, 1994
Dear Diary, 
As I sit here writing this, all I can think of is what im doing with my life. I live with my mom and brother..we moved to a new apartment as soon as my mom got offered the job she has always loved. So yes, first day here in the new apartment. Great! Not so much...
We have moved all my life just about. Well, I'm only 11 so for the past 5 years I guess. 
I enrolled in my new school today, nothing to exciting. Just the regular middle school girls who think their Gods gift to men. Um, not so much!  Oh, I did get to meet my brothers friend from school. Definetly a cutie! Ok, so that's enough for today..will write tomorrow if I'm not to busy with this busy life (sarcastic tone). 

                                              August 14, 1994

So today I get to visit my dad. I don't get to see him much because, well he isn't that type of dad to call you up and ask to see you. Hes more involved with his pain killers and drugs than anything else. I do love him and love spending time with him though, so im not complaining. Just taking advantage of the time. I've always wished I had a dad like most of my friends have. You know, the dad that is always there. The dad who takes you fishing, shopping, and the one you dream of walking you down the aisle. Well, I'm pretty sure he isn't that one. 
I'm pretty excited about seeing him and my grandma though. Not so much about my grandpa. He has always been weird around me and sometimes makes me cringe with the way he acts towards me. (More details later).  
Ok so im off! Write soon when I'm there!

                                              August 15, 1994

Ok, so I've survived it at my dad's house. He has the usual people coming in and out to buy the stuff my dad sells. When I first came here, I didn't know what my dad did for a living. Because who has a boat, car, motorcycle, nice house, and way more stuff and doesnt work. Oh, my dad. So once I was old enough to realize, I knew what was going on. 

People in and out, In and out. Non stop. My dad did manage to take me out to dinner though, to McDonald's. You know, the place where the have the value menu. Yeah, that's what I get to order from. I'm telling you, for someone who has so much money, he sure is cheap! 

Back to my mom's now. Thank God. I sure do miss her when I'm gone. She works as a property manager at a pretty nice apartment complex. She likes it and we get to live here for free, which Is great. 

So my brothers friend is coming over tonight. Ahhh what should I wear? I have to impress right? Even if he is 2 years older, I still think he's pretty cute. Gotta go get ready!

                                             August 17, 1994

Well I didn't write yesterday. I was actually debating on writing what I am now, but figured I need to get it out. I can't keep holding it in. Like I said in my last entry, my brothers friend came over. He was nice, charming, you know, the usual guy who can win over girls. Well he was a little to nice. All I can remember at this point is waking up and feeling like I was in a nightmare. I remember him going up my thighs as I was sleeping. Next thing I know, hes kissing my neck as he's rubbing his hands up in my panties. I try to push him off,  but he doesn't stop. He tells me to be quiet and not say anything. So I lay. Don't say anything. He gets up, and Thank God he did because I was scared something more would happen that I couldn't go back and change. I guess I shouldn't had flirted with him like I did. Maybe it is my fault? I don't know. I'm going to bed before I keep reliving the moment and thinking about my awful past. It brings back so many memories of what my grandpa used to do. Maybe that's why I'm freaked out? Not to sure. Good night. 

                                              August 20, 1994
Today has been good so far. I was able to talk to my dad and he wants me to come over. Yes! So im pretty excited about that. 
He's picking me up at 5, so I should start getting ready. Write soon! 

I'm at my dad's now and of course, drugs drugs drugs. Not hard drugs. Just Mary Jane and pills is all I know of. We're going to visit my grandparents later. I am looking forward to seeing my Granny. She's the one who holds my dad's side of the family together. My other grandma, eh.  She's a crackhead along with my aunt. They stay stuck in the bedroom peeping out the window almost every time im there. I'm used to it now though. I know I'm going to see my Granny so that's all that matters. I'll write when I'm home! 

Ok, so this is going to be a long entry. A little disgusting and well, here it goes. 
Remember when I said I didn't care for my grandpa? Well, today has reinforced why. Everytime im there, he is just weird. For instance, he will give all my other cousins and my brother a dollar every time were there. Well when it comes to my turn, he makes the other kids leave the room. Whispers in my ear, "I have a 5 dollar bill for you if you'll get it from my pants."  Of course I say, "no! That's gross!"  Just stuff like that. Oh and like earlier when he was outside watering the flowers, he looked at me, put the water hose between his legs and started shaking it. Gross! There's more to this story, but I'll wait for another day. It's just to much for me to even write right now. I'll be going home tomorrow, so happy. I'm definetly scared to tell anyone about my grandpa. But maybe I can find a way to tell someone. Good night. 

                                              August 22 1994

I'm finally home!! That was the longest weekend ever! I couldn't wait to be in my mom's arms again. Ok, so there's not much to say today. Oh, I haven't told my mom about anything yet. The grandpa or the brothers friend. So I need to make sure I hide my diary just in case! 


                                          September 1 1994
So I haven't wrote much, well because of school and all that I haven't had much time. My brothers friend is coming over again today. This should be interesting...