Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

I lived a life of sorrow- 
Since I was a little boy; 
Getting into trouble-
It was what brought me joy; 
Drinking at age nine- 
Smoking by ten; 
Broke into my first car- 
Right about then;

Hiding from the cops- 
Never going home; 
Mama was my example-
Of how to be a man; 
Hung with my friends- 
Gang of eight or ten; 
Some ended up in jail- 
Others found the coroner's bin;

I was arrested by the time I was twelve- 
Juvy hall for two months;
Broke in and stole a diamond ring- 
From old man Pershall that night; 
Had me on video-
What was I to do;
Told them all I'd do it again-
Just to see if I could;

Urchin by reputation-
Sandel Brown by name;
Come to my place-
And I'll show you how we play this game; 
Just to survive-
Is never enough;
Streets are so damn tough-
Will we ever get out alive;

Murdered my first man- 
Right at fifteen;
Just young enough- 
They didn't get my scene; 
Sent me to state-
For five to fifteen years; 
Met up with a nasty man- 
Aged me beyond my years;

Taught me how to con- 
Steal without being caught;
See who's working undercover- 
And see who's being bought; 
Fame and reputation- 
Paved the way for me; 
Dirty beds and dirty whores- 
No, they weren't for me;

Made my living illegally- 
But, who was I to care;
I had everything I wanted- 
Money and fame to spare; 
Channeled my aggression- 
Into a funeral pyre;
No one stood against me- 
Or they ended up in the fire;

Came a time for old age- 
About forty it seems; 
Man came to see me- 
Gun in hand for me; 
Said I killed his brother- 
Cleaning up the streets; 
By then I'd killed so many- 
What did one more mean;

Shot me twice clean through- 
In the heart it seems; 
Lying in a pool of blood-
I drifted to my dreams; 
Breathed one more time- 
And sighed my final breath; 
Found my way to the other side- 
Greeted there by death;

Found myself outside a house- 
As beautiful as can be; 
Knocked on the door- 
Just to see what I could see; 
A man came and answered- 
And asked me my name;
I said I was an urchin- 
Called Sandel Brown by name;

He asked me in and told me to wait- 
His Master was busy just now; 
Have a seat and mind my ways- 
He'd get me in some how;
I sat and waited for a while I guess- 
I lost track of time;
Found myself wondering- 
What was going on this time;

The man came to see me-
Said to walk this way;
He'd worked me into an appointment- 
With his Master today;
We walked into a den-
With books from wall to wall; 
With a desk in the middle-
And his Master seated tall;

He greeted me warmly- 
Said he was expecting me; 
Asked me if I was tired- 
From such a long journey; 
I looked at him quizzically- 
Unsure of his meaning; 
He said he understood- 
But didn't give his meaning;

He asked if I understood- 
Just where I was;
I said no-
But was sure I wasn't at home; 
He chuckled at my reply- 
Said yes this isn't your home; 
Said he would explain-
If I'd sit for a time;

He said he'd been watching me-
And all that I had done;
From the very beginning-
To the setting of my sun;
He said you've died and come to heaven- 
And I am the one true GOD;
Time for us to take account-
Of the life you lived;

He opened up the book- 
Started on page one; 
Skimming through the pages- 
Seeing all that I had done;
He closed the book before Him- 
And looked me in the eye; 
Sandel Brown I'm troubled- 
But, you must know the reason why;

I know you heard the gospel-
Even as a child;
But ever since then- 
You've been running wild; 
Your mama said she told you- 
What was wrong and right;
I was there with her-
So I know she never lied;

But you lied and you cheated- 
Have stolen and beaten; 
Murdered and raped- 
With no rhyme or reason; 
Worshipped idols galore- 
Built alters for all to use; 
Brought as many with you- 
That you could abuse;

The list is so long-
I've no time to read it all; 
But let me just say-
I think you've done it all;
Is there a reply-
A word to set it straight; 
Something to change my mind- 
Before I shut the gate;

Sandel thought for a moment- 
Then spoke with a quiet voice;

It is as you have said- 
I'm as guilty as can be; 
I'm a sinner from way back- 
Took all that I could see; 
My hands are so dirty- 
I'll never get them clean; 
Like the urchin I am- 
Water won't help me;

I've known the difference-
Between right and wrong;
But I chose a different path- 
Heard in poetry and songs;
I turned my back upon all that is good- 
Never expecting to see the light; 
Only did wrong and never the right- 
As my mama said I should;

Well you have spoken- 
For indeed it is the truth;
You are an evil man-
A savage since your youth; 
My judgement will stand- 
To hell you shall go; 
Never to see the light- 
Shine upon your soul;

You will be shown the way- 
No more shall you be lost; 
You will be in hell-
No matter the cost; 
David will show the way- 
The path is easy to find; 
Sandel Brown goodbye- 
You are lost for all time;

Sandel Brown walked away- 
Never saying a word;
He knew what was coming- 
Because of his evil works; 
Hell fire and brimstone- 
Sulfur and fumes for days; 
No going back-
This is the end of days;

I lived my life with disregard- 
For anyone but me;
Chose the path I am on-
But, what else could there be;
I broke the rules of a decent world- 
And lived a life of sin;
I find myself with no regret- 
Heaven won't let me in;

I am called an urchin- 
Sandel Brown by name; 
This is my epitaph-
This my claim to fame; 
Don't follow in my footsteps- 
Or take my advice;
Just remember this one thing- 
There is a hell and it's not nice;