Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Miscellaneous

may 11 2017 I have done so many ugly, weird, doomed things over these past 20 years but it hardly outshines all my positive efforts and ive spent nearly half my time since condoneing both reasons so I can just say I'm human in most reguards. Sitting in my own judgement right now looking on a few disastrous doomed times in my life I realize I did what I could and much more than what was necessary and no one can deny my implications. The utter outcome was just too stay sane enough too pay bills, get laid, keep friends where they belong, and never bring down more than I can take care of. And most of these ideas made my life seem huge and deserving and I survived them and emerged a man who never lets up when he knows hes right and his hearts in the right place.  Purpose can be an ugly thing ifits over looked and I wanna thank the numerous bystanding or upclose people I hold dear for not letting me slip too far down that greesey pole of decadence. I know sometimes all any one could do is watch.... and its never an easy task trying too manuevor a 6'1'' maniac out of seemingly harms way...but thanks for getting next too me and running the gauntlet too....its fun now an than before any thing with reasoning skills closes in for a let down... But if any body would hav warned me 20 years ago, that before I was 40, id have a brain left too argue for at all id of bet so heavily against it id sighn both my nuts over and notorized that shit...im glad lifes many splendid things are still in view and I can disipher it all and know I'm among good things.....  Hell, some of the best things in life just need some attention..... but we all know that....  some things are just so simple we ignore them really.... I can remember people who would beat the hell out of any one who sat on their leather jackets, or how women would safe guard all our hearts by conserveing the truth....or how no bodys really into the wrong kinds of pain...and theres nothing a good fuck and a cigarette cant handle....but at this stage, maybe its just a limbo worth mentioning or a stab at reconciliation, but, we do ignore too much these days....I wanna catch up, deliver myself from this '' Limbo '' of mundane crisis....some times the best thing too do is be greatful theres still minds out there that can dig your way...take notice.....  aw, but I'm rambleing again and its late and I'm sagging infront of this computer trying too dial in some sense of this whole thing/feeling...maybe I feel like a lot has been forgotton even basic shit.... like everybody had their own style and no one minded...it was great we all were out front for each other too see....  where is that can-do attention we hav all been craving, that unique arena of people acknowledgeing each other and holding it together for our time. No more private turns at each other....awww...but I'm rambleing here and this whole thing sounds aimed at a bunch of people that may hav forgotton how too be alive...and that's just not the case. This is just really a notice if need be...  Something natural before long....that's for sure...  something Any how some times I just love writeing without researching words or finding definitions or a destination...  its late