The Secret Of Sapphire; A Mystic Eye
Read Count : 123
Category : Books-Fiction
Sub Category : Fantasy
Okay everyone, please welcome the woman I vow as my new queen, and the new mother of my beautiful daughter!" The King cried. "Everyone welcome, my new queen, Sapphire!" He shouted. Everyone clapped. "Hello, everyone! As Queen Sapphire, I vow to restore faith into the world and do it all with my handsome King, and beautiful daughter." Queen Sapphire announced. Everyone chanted. "Kingdom Moira! Kingdom Moira!". Later That Night... Queen Sapphire wakes up. "Aurora? Allard?" She whispered. No reply. "Perfect!" She mumbled menacely. She sneaked out of the bedroom and entered the bar. She fought the bartender and then went over to a hidden room. She disguised herself and poisened the boy. He was startled. "Speak nothing of this if you live." She whispered. She heard screams from the other room and ran inside. Her friend was being hung by a rope by a masked man. She fought him and untied Vella. "Stay out of trouble" Sapphire said. She walked away. Disclaimer: Vella Was Hung Because The Masked Man Accused Her Of Killing His Family.
Comments
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it was extremely rushed, i had no clue what was happening half the time. I think it could be greatly improved by the show don't tell rule. Also, Sapphire's character shift basically gave me whiplash, there wasn't any indication of any sort of shift; she was just introduced, had one sugar sweet line, then BAM! complete one-eighty in a "you just gotta deal with it" kind of way.
Sep 20, 2017