Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Relationships

Breaking rules again, being here when I should'nt.
I never knew what it felt like to fall in love.
Really fall in love. I don't know what you did to me, but your kiss changed me somehow. I was only sixteen then. I never fell in love with anyone else since. The counceling is very good. The people at our small Baptist church are so wonderfull and so nice. Always wanting to help. Always caring. But as wonderfull as it all is, it can never remove you from my heart. Wherever I go, whatever I do, you are always on my mind. Some days I am calm. Sad, but calm. Other days I get emotional when I think about you. The memories of you always repeating in my mind. I just wipe my tears away and I go on. Pretending that I'm okay. 
Sometimes I feel like a joke. Maybe I am stupid for feeling this way, because I still love you. I should hate you or at least be angry with you but I'm not. I don't know why. Maybe I'm not normal. I miss you like crazy. More that crazy and I wish I could spend a day with you. Even just one day. To see your face again. To really talk about everything. I miss your voice and your smile. I miss the way you use to hold me. I miss everything.You were so sensitive and caring. I just miss you. I never thought missing you would hurt like this.  Sometimes I go into your old room to write and to pray. Sometimes the longing becomes to much and I go there to cry. Sometimes I cry while praying. I am such a mess since you. I lost the best friend I ever had and the only one I fell in love with so long ago. This was not the way things should have been. I was never over you. I'm trying, but I'm finally giving up. I should have known after so many years. There's just no getting over you. 


Silent Angel