Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I'm looking out the window. I'm watching his form walk between each animal enclosure. I sip my tea, watching him being gentle to each animal. I look down at my feet. I see the bruises I have on my knees.

"Hello, Satan, ah. I believe it's time for us to go. Me and the Devil walking side by side." blares through my earbuds. My tears well up and start kissing my eyelashes.

"You may bury my body. Down by the highway side. So my old evil spirit. Can Greyhound bus that ride. So my old evil spirit. Can Greyhound bus that ride." I sing softly while watching him finish his chores. I look around and start tidying the house.

I'm screaming the song making up a dance. I tone down my screaming. I don't want him to become alarmed.

"You may bury my body. Down by the highway side." I'm sobbing and dancing. 

"Me and the Devil. Was walking side by side. Me and the Devil. Was walking side by side." I see him looking at the house. He must have heard me. He hurries to the door. 

I fall to my knees, crying into my hands. I'm wearing his shirt and knee socks. 

"Baby? Are you okay?" He's rushing to me.

"Me and the Devil... Was walking side by side... Me and the Devil..." I start sobbing at his feet. 

"Baby girl, come here.." His voice is sweet, tender. He looks very concerned.

"You may bury my body by the highway side." I'm sobbing so hard my body shutters.

"You're not going to be buried, baby." He leans down and picks me up. I go limp and just sob. He holds me close to his chest. I wrap my arms around him soon more. "What's wrong, my love?" He whispers between my sobs.

"I'm scared. I'm scared I'm going to lose you. The last time..." I speak but sob again on his chest and feel myself going limp again. 

"Baby..." I hear him start crying. I fall to the floor in a crumbled up ball and sob more. 

"I'm so scared... I don't want... I can't... this shit will be fucked...." my earbuds aren't playing music anymore. My screams are louder. My heart is howling, my lungs are burning, my eyes blurry. The tears burning one by one. Searing my flesh. My head is starting to make me think horrible things.

I hear him stand up. I can't see anything with the amount of tears. He pulls me by my ankle to the bedroom. He stands me up, gently lowers me on the bed. 

He curls up next to me and whispers "I'm not going to lose you. We're destined. You're my light. You're my good. You're my baby." He kisses my cheeks, nose, forehead, and I taste tears when he kisses my lips. Not sure if they're his or mine.

He holds me until my sobbing ceases. He holds me, rocks me, and keeps whispering he loves me. 

"I'm terrified..." I finally whisper. I start to whimper and tear up again. 

"You're safe, baby girl." He says loudly, but not in a threatening tone. My fears start to leave, I kiss his lips and beg him to love me. "I already do. I fell hard and fast for you. Months ago."