Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Miscellaneous

I miss her, and it's constant. I cry myself to sleep a lot, and I struggle to do just that, sleep. One in the morning, two, then three rolls into four and five... I am starting to think this will never stop, and now that I've been thinking so much I've realized there are only two others I had this much love for. Then there's the so called friends telling me she didn't deserve me, but in reality I thought I didn't deserve her and truly that was wrong to think. She brought me hope, and I crushed it after we argued, but I never told her how fixing that angel changed me, I didn't believe in myself so the only blame is on me. This self hatred runs deep, so deep that I drown in it. I miss her, I love her, and now all I wish now that we don't talk is for my life to be over.  Almost five months now since I finally quit drinking alcohol for good, and I've said no every time I thought about cutting to feel some other kind of pain instead of what's been internal, I'm making changes, but I can't stop thinking about suicide and I'm fighting harder and harder just to survive.