Category : Stories

Sub Category : Horror

it all started with a simply little blade , tbh i couldn’t honestly tell you why i picked it up the first time i did but i do know that it was one of the worst mistakes i’ve ever made . i had definitely been struggling for a while before the thought even crossed my mind . i would sit in my room and think and ask God why me , why God , WHY , why is all this happening to me ? i stared doing it every single night , to me it was kinda what help me get through everything. i was so young and so miserable but the thought of actually ending everything not once crossed my mind at that point , never thought it would tbh . but the cutting myself till i couldn’t fill my wrist or my thighs or even my stomach, my throat, my shoulders even wasn’t helping anymore, i felt lost , i was scared of myself, and so much was going through my head 100 mph i could not  bare to take another day . then the thoughts of you don’t deserve to be here anymore , your worthless those thoughts drove me to the point i knew i needed to leave and never come back , so i tried ending it , my life , didn’t work the first time , so i tried again, and again and again and again and AGAIN , but the last time i tried something told me i needed help . i got sent off for a year , it changed me but hurt me at the same time . i come back home and i thought i was ok , i honestly did , but i wasn’t and now i realize that . i kept on continuing to cut but see i thought i was better because it wasn’t every night anymore it happened maybe once a week . but at the end of the day i wasn’t lol . i fought every day and i still do it just has gotten so much easier. but back to where i was i would lie and fake a smile so much , i didn’t even realize i was faking if that makes any sense. but over time i got better and got better and got better by myself and being alone in the process because you won’t let yourself talk to anyone about it was so hard but i got so much stronger. present day i haven’t cut in almost a month , im finally getting back to where i don’t got to fake a smile or laugh . i’m doing better for real this time . but let me say this , please talk to someone, please reach out to somebody. i promise you it’ll be worth it in the long run , im finally able  to share some of my self harm  experience without felling like i’m doing it for attention or i want someone to feel bad for me . i just hope to save someone’s life or atleast help a victim of self harm . if you don’t got no one to talk to you always got God , i love you , he loves you . always praying for you . 🫶🏼