His Trap Read Count : 56

Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A
Is it me that has done wrong? 

To put intense。 。 。 emotions into someone whom I deeply care for? 

Have I been naive to fall into this trap yet again? 

If there be something to fear, for me to worry over, to burden my soul with: it is loneliness.

One person can alter so much of your routine, your living, your heart and when they drift。 。 。

What is there for you to do?

I greatly, intensely, horrifyingly despise my being for wallowing in this sadness. 

This is human yet it feels childish. 

To want someone, awaiting their carrier pigeons to fly to your abode for hours and hours.

They come less and less and I worry for myself.

I have become。 。 。 inhuman when I worry for myself. 

Do I retain hope that this be a phase? A change of their life momentarily? Soon, they will return to send their carrier pigeons to me more so that I may read their messages?

Or do I shut myself away, slowly and steadily, from them and hope that I am forgotten. 

Hope that the pain isn't as seering as less communication between us. 

Hope that I may return to my normal routine of wallowing in my loneliness. 

Is such thoughts wrong? 

Purposefully sabotaging a friendship like this all due to chronic paranoia?

I find that I cannot decide what to do. So, I opt to speak less, send carrier pigeons less, speak later and later. 

And provide an excuse as to why when it wasn't asked for.

I am a monster for such sabotage. 

Forgive me, my friend, for this. 

My mind has trapped me once more.


  • Aug 14, 2022

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