Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I know that I can never go back and change the past so I've had to make peace with regrets that I have. I wish I hadn't spent so much time trying to convince the people that I wanted to love me that I was Worthy. Once upon a time I was willing to settle for Love on the terms of others that never really deserve me. I should have never apologized for being myself but a weaker and younger me wasn't strong enough yet to fight for her own voice, I'm an apologetic and courageously it always hurt when they broke my heart and it made me think the problem was me. A question what I did wrong if I was pretty enough or why I always end up being the one picking up the pieces of a shattered heart. I know now that I never should have sacrificed who I was to make someone else happy. Therapy and judge letting them down or not being enough suppress my voice and quieted my heart. I realize now that I tried to love people that never really saw me at all. I wasn't important to them and they never made me or my love a priority. That made me feel small and stole away my courage in a way that took me so long to rediscover. I look back with so many regrets about all the things I should have said and done along the way, but I know now that those are the struggles that help me find my way home to myself to my soul to my identity that I lost in my failed attempts to find love. I tried to love all the wrong people in all the wrong ways but that taught me exactly what I didn't want in my life, my heart and my future. As painful as the past was, I knew it led me down the road to where I was always meant to be. I stopped fighting all the wrong battles for all the wrong reasons and chasing all the wrong. People. I realize that now I'm choosing a different path choosing to love myself what I want and the people who really see and love me. Heartache and lost almost broke me, but they created all the cracks I need to let the light in, so I'm very thankful now I know what I never did before I'm beautifully broken I'm wonderfully unique and most of all I'm perfectly imperfect