Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I lie in bed, wide awake- I can’t sleep because I can’t shut off my thoughts.
I’m in that weird place that doesn’t allow my mind to stop..
The thoughts, the cares and concerns just keep turning over in my mind.
My heart and my head are waging war and I’m just caught in the middle.
It’s the most difficult place to be when you just don’t know what to do.
My head tells me to walk away, that you’ll never figure out what you want and why wait forever..when that’s how long it might take you to know if you want to make this work..
Or if you even really love me.
My heart tells me to hang on, give you the space and time to sort out your feelings.
That we could have something beautiful one day. 
It makes my heart heavy a little more every day as we linger..
I don’t know if I should move on and try to forget you..or if I should hold on and hope this works out.
They say love isn’t enough and I’m holding my breath hoping that you’ll discover what I mean to you..
I’ve loved you for more than I care to even admit, and truthfully, parts of me wishes I hadn’t fallen for you, but there’s no going back.
I’m at the crossroads that makes me cry in the shower cause I just want  us to work out..but we’re in that limbo because you not ready..
You can want someone so much that it hurts physically..and there’s times that I can’t breathe as I think of losing you..
But as the night falls and I’m lost in a mirage of happy thoughts of us..
It’s all I can think of. Boy, I would give anything to just stop all this thinking..
But the  emptiness I feel slowly dawns on me..and I finally know:
I can’t do this anymore,
It’s tearing me apart and if you don’t care, don’t want me or can’t “figure it out,” I’m moving on.
My self respect, 
love and happiness is worth more than staying in this sad state hoping you’ll decide you want me.
Truthfully I'm getting my balls sewed on so I can just 
Walk away.
I still love you I can't walk away from that but, 
I’m tired of the sleepless night and tears.
I gave you all the chances and did everything I could to make this work.
I loved you the best I could but finally understood what I knew all along.
Sometimes, love alone just isn’t enough.