Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

When you left me behind

Ruminating thoughts took over my mind

As if I was stuck in a moment of time

Unable to get myself to cope

I was addicted to a needle and the dope

Trying to find a sliver of hope

Clung onto the memories that weren't bad

Lost the only true love I ever had

Nothing feels like this is real

As if I'm in a dream and can't feel

Praying for one last time

To be around people that make me shine

Back when everything seemed to be fine

But that's never gonna happen again

I have to stop lieing to myself to pretend

That I didn't lose my kids, family and friends

The agony I'm suffering inside

I am trying to find a way to hide

Nobody sees the silent tears I cry 

Besides the ones they see on the outside

One last time I want peace

One last time I want love

One last time I want to be safe

One last time I want to escape

But that's not going to be my fate

My unconditional love is turning into hate

There's nothing I can do but wait  

I wish I could go back to that day 

To take back the words I didn't mean to say

When I lost my mind going insane

Caused by all the built up pain

Trauma responses I gained

Leaving my soul stained

I don't know how I still remain

As kind as I am to others

When Ive been used and abused by almost every lover 

I had no place to take cover

To keep myself safe

During the troubles I had to face

Tired of running life's crazy race

I just want to find a place to call home

Where love and forgiveness is shown 

Not the abandonment I've known

To fast I had to be grown

Figuring out how to survive

I don't fit in as one of the hive

Tired of being empty

I want to feel alive

One last time I want to be free

One last time I want to be me

Why can't anybody see

Why Iam so lonely

BPD has my body in pain 

Like being burned to the 3rd degree

Everything hurts crippling me to my knees

Invisible fight in my mind

One last time I want to be fine

Won't anyone be kind

Before I run out of time