Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

See lately I've been drifting away on nightmares with a bunch of demons in a fiery place... 
I tried to keep all the fakes and haters out my face. I know that I am a good person but sometimes I feel like such a disgrace, sometimes I just want to die.. don't let it show too much in public but really I'm dying inside. 
I wonder when I'm riding in the car if this will be my last ride, I feel like running far away and finding somewhere else to hide.
 In reality I'm miserable like most of the time.. But I keep pushing cuz I want to hit the point where I shine. 
See I want to find someone I want to hold and call mine they get to know me, then they leave me at the drop of a dime..
 I fill myself with drugs and alcohol to get through the night, and in reality I live my life with so much pain since all my peoples gonr away ..
A lot of folks I keep around think this life is nothing but a game.. my body's filled with so much hatred really I'm just ashamed in my brain a lot of days.
 I just don't know what to do..
my question is, how would you feel if all these thoughts were in you?? 
When people are mad or get depressed they come and throw it on me, it happens every single day and I just feel so weak, like my emotions could explode because they're close to their peak
 I sit and listen quietly and try not to make a peep but in my head I'm freaking out and I'm just ready to tweak I hate to say it but if I'm honest this is how I feel..
 I know a lot will probably hate me because I'm keeping it this real.. I'm like a fish that just got hooked I'm trying to fight and in reality I'm just lost.. 
a lot of people dont  know that I'm stressed they have a misconception that I have an s on my chest..
 I try to keep it positive and always hope for the best but if you take a look inside you'll see I'm super depressed.
 it's been a while now that I just chose to keep it hidde...I did a lot of stupid shit that I wish that I didn't.. 
 a lot of people probably hope that it's a joke and I'm kidding but to be truthful there's a lot of times I just want to cry, I feel like life is such a hassle I just wish I'd die I sit and think of s*** that happens to me wondering why that's probably the biggest reason why I keep getting high it's all day and all night and all year that I struggle with all this shit that's in my head ..
 I just sit and I juggle.. I sit and wait for other pieces of my life to just crumble.. it's like I'm trapped inside my head and I can't get out of this rubble and realistically I know this sounds so baf
 I can't help that every day that I'm awake I'm sad...  I it's really crazy that it's daily I'm in the corner holding my phone contemplating thinking should I put a slug in my dome or pray to God for all these demons to just leave me the fuck alone..
 I sit and wonder how my life's going to end.. I'm like a monster in a world that's full of angels I'm just trying to blend and even though these people say that they're my friend I understand that they just want what they can get and that it's really pretend ..
It  fucking blows my mind that people can't just treat others as equal.. 
 I've always had a little feeling that everybody is evil that's just life and the way I perceive it....
even though at times I wish I could leave,
 it's in my head that I should take a time to chill and take a second to breathe.. but all I feel is this hate. I pray to God everybody relates..
 as I sit and get baked trying to maintain my face,
 I pray to God everybody relates..