You Are Enough Read Count : 62

Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Drama
Chapter 1
    RUN! RUN! That's all I can hear along with my heart pounding in my ears. I try to obey, but I'm frozen in place. Paralyzed by fear. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! I woke with a jolt, covered in sweat. I lay there trying to slow down my breathing and calm my racing heart. It was just another nightmare or was it a memory? It's 4:30 in the morning. I hate waking up this early, but I have no other choice than to work two jobs, being a single mother of twins at twenty and living back home with my mom, George (stepdad), my younger siblings Corey and Charolette. My older brother, Stewart, hasn't lived with us in a long time. How did all this come to be, you might ask? Well, let me explain myself to you. Hi, my name is Kathleen and I got married to the first boy to show me any bit of affection. I dropped out of school and moved to California shortly thereafter because he didn't trust me enough to be faithful to him while he was gone. I was made to uproot my life only to be isolated. I wasn't allowed to have friends or see family. He had nobody to question my meek and submissive ways. Nobody to call him out for the bruises that covered more than half of my body. Once I realized what I would be living with for the rest of my life, it was already too late. I was pregnant and with twins.  Dylan was sure I had cheated because we had only been married for six months and I was on birth control. At least the physical abuse slowed down, but he ramped up the mental and emotional abuse. I stopped having to wear long-sleeve shirts and hoodies in the heat of summer to cover all the bruises. He was smart and tried not to leave marks on my face or neck so he wouldn't get into trouble with the Marine Corp for spousal abuse. Like that would ever happen. I shake my head to clear my mind of thoughts and memories. Come on Kat, just breathe. I share the room with my one-year-old twins, Holden and Harper, due to all the rooms being full. I get up to check on them and find Holden wrapped around his sister just like they were in the womb. At one point, I did, try to separate them but Holden screamed bloody murder until I moved him back in with Harper and within minutes they were both fast asleep. At least I know that he will always be there to protect her from the evils of the world. I thank everything good and positive that is in this world that he has a protective soul and not that of a bully. I have one more glance at my two most prized possessions and grab my things for a shower. I try to be as silent as possible so I don't wake them. As the water heats up, I look at my face and body in the mirror and notice I look far older than my twenty years on this planet. 

-Flashback-

I hear the same words that I had gotten so used to hearing that I was just numb to them anymore. God Kathleen, why did I ever marry you? I learned a long time ago to keep my mouth shut and to keep my head down. You are worthless Kathleen! Just better for everyone involved. You can't even keep this place clean for crying out loud! Tell me why I shouldn't just kick you and those brats growing inside of you on the curb? That's what always gets me and he knows I will always fight back for my kids. Smack!!!! Atta girl. I love it when you show a little fire in your eyes. After a few blows that I know will leave marks, I feel his breath on my cheek. Remember, little girl, I own you and those little brats inside of you. I can do what I want when I want and you can't stop me. 

- End Flashback-

     I find myself looking in the mirror yet not seeing my reflection because of the steam. Just a memory Kat. You're not back there again. It's going to be a very bad day. I can feel it. First the nightmare, now a flashback. Why is this happening again? I work both jobs today and I'm in a bad mood already.  I can just feel the mama's fire in my eyes like it was that day all over again. I get into the lukewarm water and wash off all the negativity. How do I keep letting this happen? I'm normally locked up like Fort Knox but this crap slipped through. I always feel so dirty after an episode like this. As I rinse my hair, I hear my little boy over the monitor just babbling away, and then I hear My Coco, My Coco. His version of my brother's name. At four months old, that being his first word, my brother still brings it up. Now mama's sweet angel Harper is a different story. She was born deaf due to me being pushed down the stairs while I was pregnant. We have been studying ASL to help her and us understand what she wants and needs. Holden is even learning with her. Sometimes I think he is more aware of things. Of course, as soon as he hears Corey he breaks into a giggling fit. As I'm shutting off the water, I hear a softer giggle. Well, Harper is up as well. Hello princess Harper, my brother signed to her. Of course, her brother answers for her. Me Coc she swept hard. So did me. I swear anything Corey says is the gospel. He has always been like a twin to me, even though we are years apart. He is defiantly my other half in a sibling kind of way.

Chapter 2
  I debate hollering because did I really wanna deal with Charolette's wrath for being woken up so early? Screw it, I think. Almost done, Corey, I just have to finish rinsing my hair. The water had turned cold long ago. Are we doing this? Are you going to wake me up at the crack of dawn, Charolette asks? We do this at least twice a week. I rush to shut off the water and dry myself. As I'm getting dressed I hear a giggle. I walked into my room to dry my waist-length black hair only to be greeted by four sets of eyes that took away my breath. You see my siblings and I all got our shades of hazel eyes. We all have different shades and patterns in our eyes, and it looks like my children received the gift as well. Hey Kat, we thought we would help you out and get the kids ready to go, Charolette says. Guys, I'm so sorry you are being woken up so early, so much, I say. No worries, I'm not that mad about it, and, plus, we did just get the kids ready for you, Charolette says. And face it, you don't ask for help enough, said Corey. They carry the kids down the stairs because a rule of somebody else carrying the kids was passed after I fell down the stairs carrying them. Nobody but me was injured. I thank everything good and positive in this world for that. I have to hurry. It's almost 6 and I still have to drop the kids off at daycare. It looked like a quick few eggs and a bottle of milk this morning. I rush around trying to get the kids' food ready and they fed so I can finish getting ready for work. Here, let us feed them and get them in their car seats so you can go and do your hair, says Corey. Oh thank you, thank you so much.
    I run upstairs so I can do my hair up in a bun and get my shoes on. Fifteen minutes later, we were about to load the kids into the car. As we walked towards the car, I happened to look in the timber to see what looked to be a person. I looked at the other two, saying," Guys, did you see that? There was someone there, I told them. Charolette looked into the timber where I showed her to look and then looked back at me, and looked only to say, I didn't see anyone. Are you okay, she asks? I am fine, I said, looking back at the wooded area knowing full well I saw a person in there. We buckle the kids in and I climb into the driver's side and start the car, but she doesn't start. Damnit! What the hell is wrong with her now, I holler. I tried a few more times and tried one last time. She finally roars to life. Good great grant, I'm already ready for this day to be over. I looked into the rearview mirror to see two chubby hands reaching for the other. I back out of the driveway and make it halfway up the dirt road and my car sputters and whines, so I pull over as I do and she completely dies. Man! This is not my day. I turned the key and nothing. I looked for my phone, flipped it open, and realized I had no signal. Bad day bad day! I was about to cry and I tried one more time and this time she started right up. Thank goodness I screamed. Mommy, you stay, Holden asks?  Yes baby I am just happy the car started. We finally make it to the sitters but I feel the hairs on my neck stand up as I step out of the car. That's it, Kat, you are being paranoid, I tell myself. I started to scan the cars around me. I was so focused that I didn't hear Tina the sitter call my name several times, so I jumped when she laid her hand on my shoulder.  
    Jeeze Kat, I thought you heard me calling your name. I'm sorry Tina. I'm just a bit jumpy today, is all I told her. Okay hun, let's get the kids out and into my apartment. We rushed the kids inside because it was entirely too cold outside. My nephew Max is there getting ready for school. I told her the kids haven't had much to eat this morning. As I'm walking to my car, I jump for the second time in 10 minutes when my phone begins to play Toxic By Britney Spears, that's my soon-to-be ex-husband's ringtone. What does he want? Yes, Dylan, I answered. " Not so high and mighty now are we, he asks?"What are you talking about Dylan? You can't even afford a car that runs! I sit in my car half-frozen, how? How did you know I was having car troubles, Dylan? It doesn't matter whore, just know I'm bringing this up in court. CLICK! No no no, I can't believe this is happening. He's going to end up with the kids. His threat of taking my babies is becoming a very real possibility. 

-Flashback- 
  You had better run from me because if I catch you it will be worse for you. Where am I? No no no, it's Dylan. After a round of discipline, as he calls it he likes to take me to the wooded area of the park and taunt me. You are fat Kathleen! Nobody is ever going to love you. Since the twins were born it's like he doesn't care about getting into trouble because he hits me wherever he is now. Kathleen, you disgust me! He walked a few feet away from my hiding spot behind a tree. I got up to run and fell back on my knee. The pain in my side makes me see stars. I take a breath and hit the ground like a sack of potatoes out cold. 

-End Flashback-

Chapter 3
         I can't breathe, I look around and realize I am in my car, not back in the woods. I look around and find that I am still holding my side trying to catch my breath. My anxiety is rising. No, not here. It's happening. I'm having an anxiety attack! Focus Kat! What did the doc say to do when these started to happen? Oh, that's right, the five senses. Something you feel, hear, see, smell, and taste. I feel my racing heart slow down as I begin to relax. I give myself a few extra minutes to gather myself and freshen up before I drive to work. As I pulled into the parking lot of The Peak Cafe  I saw that our breakfast rush is in full swing. I rushed into the cafe and in my haste, I didn't see Lewis the dishwasher walking. We collide into each other-spilling half-empty teas and coffee all over us both. Carol takes one look at the scene and goes running. Lewis, Kathleen. What happened? Are you okay? Carol, I'm so sorry it was my fault, I tell her near tears. She softens her features when she sees I'm on the verge of a breakdown. 
       Honey, why don't you go on home? We can start fresh tomorrow. Carol, I can't I need the money I told her. Look, I'm already losing Tuesday and Thursday nights because of GED classes. Honey, are those babies keeping you up? No, I just didn't sleep the greatest last night. Well, this weekend, bring them over and the girls and I will watch them so you can get your hair and nails done, she tells me. Carol, I can't afford that. Oh honey I've already booked and paid for the appointment for Saturday after work. Carol, I can't do this. Why would you do that? No, wait. I'm sorry, what I meant to say was thank you, but I can't accept this. You will go, young lady, or I'll tan your hide.  Yes, ma'am, I say, because what else was there to say once Carol put her foot down? It's a battle you will never win. I'll help clean up. No, we got it. Go on home kid, she tells me. I walked out feeling like someone was watching me. The hairs on my neck and arms stood up. I looked around, not knowing who or what I was looking for. I didn't see anyone out of the ordinary, just the locals. I got back to my car, turned the key, and nothing. I tried again and again and again. I finally gave up and took a break. I let fifteen minutes pass and tried again. Still nothing. We waited another fifteen minutes, still nothing. So I call my mom Julia. Ring ring ring Hello. This is Julia Moore.               How can I help you? Mom, it's me, Kat. Kat, what's wrong? Are the kids okay? Yes mom they are. I giggle a little thanks for caring about me, for crying out loud. Oh honey I knew you were okay. So what's up? Why are you calling me at work? Aren't you supposed to be at work? Yes, I say. Yes, long story short, I was told to go home and try again tomorrow. What's wrong? Nothing I tell my mother. Kathleen Joyce Wilson! Are you lying to your mother? No ma'am it was just a bad night and morning.  
The reason I'm calling was that my car won't start again and I have no way to get around, let alone home. Can you pick me up? Oh honey I can't but George should be home, she tells me. Thanks anyway, mama. We said our goodbyes and got off the phone now to call George and see if he could help me. Ring ring ring! Kat, what's wrong? Are the kids okay? Yes, why does everyone ask about their safety first over me? Hahahaha! You no longer matter in the way they do, George tells me. No, the reason I'm calling is that my car won't start. Could you come to look at it please? Sure kid, he says. We hung up and I waited about thirty minutes and he pulled up and, lo and behold, his friend Lucky from Lucky's towing and mechanics. Oh yes, thank you for thinking ahead, George.
     They get out and, since I've already popped the hood, they go ahead and unlatch it and raise it. As Lucky looks over my car, the sitter's ring tone goes off. Tina, what's wrong? Are the kids okay? George hears this and he's in front of me in no time. What's wrong, he asks? I put my finger up to tell him to give me a minute. Kat, the kids started pulling at their ears so I checked their temps and they are both in the 100s. Shit, Okay, I'll be there as soon as possible. I got off the phone and let George know what was going on. Take my truck kid and get them to the urgent care now, he tells me. Hey kid, come here. I know you have to go but come here quickly, Lucky asks? I have a nice family car that I can give you. Absolutely not, I told him. Then, if you insist on paying for it, you pay me what you can when you can. Lucky thank you. Go on go get the kids. I hop into George's pick up and I'm outta there.  My kids have had a rough start to their lives and it bothers me. They will have me all of their lives, but what about a dad? I think over so many things while I make my way to the sitter's house as quickly as possible. An unbelievable sadness washes over me. How could things have gone so wrong in our little world? As I reached the house, I could see my babies in the front window. I love my babies so much. And I will never understand how somebody could hurt someone so little.

Chapter 4
        I flew into the parking lot of Tina's apartment complex, threw the truck in park, and ran up to the door. I knocked twice and heard a come in. As soon as the kids see me, they come trotting up to me. Mama no feels good, Holden signs to me and Harper agrees. I know my babies are going to the doctor's office to see a new doctor. I get their shoes and coats on and thanked Tina. I buckle the kids in and hop into the truck. I back out of my spot and headed to the urgent care. My alert that my mother was calling went off. "It's your mother!" I repeat " Your mother is calling!" Yes, mom. What's going on? I'm taking the kids to urgent care. I will call when I know something. I hang up and drive up the street and pull into the urgent care building. I sign the kids in getting seated and get ready for our wait. Forty-five minutes later, we were called back into a room. Okay, well they have a fever of 103.7. The nurse tells me.  The doctor will be in shortly. After another fifteen-minute wait, the doctor comes in and looks at their ears and throat and sure enough, they both have double ear infections. Of course, they do I think. Okay, I thank the doc and grab the kids heading for the pharmacy. We got into the truck. Thank goodness the pharmacy is just down the street. I unload the kids, pack them into the pharmacy, get their meds, and, back out to the car, which took thirty minutes. I put them back in their seats and I had barely gotten outside of town when I noticed that the kids were asleep. Awwww my poor babies are so sick. When we got home, George and my new to me car were already there. George opens the door and asks "What did the doc say?" I turn to him and say, I thought he and I were supposed to go over prices and things. It still has plates on it. Yeah about all that, Lucky decided that he would just loan you the car for now but you pay for the gas and upkeep on it. Huh oh yeah, they both have double ear infections because they are teething. Okay, I will go call your mother and tell her. Thanks, George, and thank Lucky for me. I don't think he heard me more worried about the kids. I change their butts warm up some bottles of milk and lay them down for a nap. Oh no, I say. Mommy almost forgot your medicine.
          I head downstairs to grab their meds and rush upstairs hoping they are not asleep yet. Oh thank goodness they were awake so I gave them their medicine and sang them a song. I leave the room with the monitor and head downstairs to clean the house for mom and George. As I'm cleaning, a thought crosses my mind as to why Stewart's son and my kids can't be closer.  Maybe it's their ages or the fact that we don't get to see Max all that much anymore. You see Stewart and Max's mom had a huge fight, so we haven't seen him much. My dad's side of the family doesn't see us either. My dad, Stewart Sr. decided that it was a good idea to have an affair with my mom and he ended up getting Elizabeth pregnant not once but twice. He ended up getting a redo on kids. And those kids take after their mother and hate us. Why do you ask? They believe our mom and us were the reason their parents couldn't be together, not the fact that he was a married man. The oldest, Lucas, who is ten years old, is just like our dad angry about everything. He's a mean little boy that you worry will murder you in your sleep. Then you have eight-year-old Marcus, who was just put into a crappy situation. He's the sweetest kid. We see them at the store in town several times a week. Elizabeth and Lucas just glare and then you get a sweet smile and a small wave from Marcus. Mom tells us to look the other way and ignore them but it's kind of hard when everyone in town knows what he did to our family. Why should they get to act like they have done no wrong and we have to cower in embarrassment? Why does he get to act like he was this amazing dad when we four know the truth. We didn't tell mom what he was doing because he drilled into our heads that it would be ten times worse the next day.  He has always said it was in our imaginations. I am pretty sure we didn't all imagine the same memories. He put the fear of God in us to make sure we never told anyone. When our parents separated, we told mom everything that happened to us for years. She was appalled and she cried.  I'm brought out of my memories when I hear our three-year-old rottweiler growling and staring outside. It's okay Lue nobody is out there, I tell her. Before I forget, I need to call Larry and let him know that I won't be able to clean the Lodge today since the kids are sick. As I'm about to dial his number when movement outside catches my eye and I know for sure that I see somebody in the timber. I raced to the door and hollered HELLO! Only to be met with silence. Hello? I ask again. Who is there? Then my phone rang. All I hear is heavy breathing and chills run down my spine. Kathleen just gives up your kids already. The voice tells me. No, I won't figure this was just Dylan trying to scare me. Please don't call me again, I said to the other person.

Chapter 5
    You are a garbage mother, the caller says. Who is this, I ask? You will know soon enough. I hung up, not wanting to listen anymore to what the caller had to say. I am freaking out at this point, thinking I should let George know what has happened today. George! George! What is it, Kat? The kids? No, but I'd been feeling like someone was following me and Dylan knew about my car almost immediately. Now I saw someone outside and got a call from an unknown number saying that I was a bad mom. Oh, honey comes here, Geoge says. I walked into his waiting arms. Why is this happening George, I ask?           

   Honey, I have no idea who is doing this or why this is going on? Just be careful and if it keeps happening we will go to the police. Okay, George. I'll watch my back. I need to call Larry and let him know that I won't be able to clean the Lodge with the kids being sick. Well, no go ahead and I will watch the kids for you. Oh, are you sure George? Yes kid I am, go on now. Go on to work, we will be just fine. The keys to the car Lucky had sitting around are on the counter kid. We are gonna have to talk to Lucky about this car. What's wrong with mine? Well, honestly, it's going to cost more to fix than it is worth. Damnit! That's just great. How am I going to get to work and class, George? Well, calm down now, that's what the car is for. I don't get it... Well, you see, Lucky has this car right that is just sitting there, runs well and it's big enough for you and the kids. Okay George, but in my experience, nobody, and I mean nobody does anything for free. Well here's the other thing..... he wants you to pay what you can and when you can, but he will cover your insurance. What no George, I can't let him do that. Well, kid, you know how Lucky is. He knows what's going on and just wants to help. Fine, we will do it his way. What I didn't know was that all the money I ended up paying him went straight into an account and just sat there. I rush around to get all of my stuff gathered up and run out the door to my new car. I drive the twenty minutes out to the Lodge and park my car. Well, it's a Buick with a huge back to haul groceries in or things for the kids. As I'm getting my keys out of my phone for a second time today, plays Toxic. Great, just what I need is Dylan calling me. I just let it ring but he doesn't stop calling me. What Dylan, I ask? What do you want? So the kids are sick, huh? Okay, how the hell do you know that? Are you following me? No you stupid cow, I'm in California but I do and will know everything you do.

        I can't believe this, you are crazy, I say. Kathleen, you know that you can't make it on your own. That's why you live with your parents. You are worthless. Those brats will come to Miranda and me once we are done with this divorce and you will never see them again.  Dylan, you can't just take my kids from me and think that I won't go down without a fight. These are my kids and not yours. You don't even like them, let alone want them. Kathleen, you are so stupid, he tells me. It's just a control thing for you, isn't it? Dylan, you don't want them at all, why fight so hard to get them? You don't know what I want, Kathleen, Dylan tells me. Just like you to always try and tell others what they want or need. You are pathetic, Kathleen. I'd had enough and hung up. Why won't he just leave me alone? Why does he feel the need to make my life a living hell? You are good enough, Kat. You are a kind and caring person. You are beautiful. I chant my little motto to myself, hoping that one day I will believe the things I say to myself. I have to reign in my anger and sadness before I freak out on someone innocent. I get inside and make quick work, grabbing all my cleaning supplies and heading to the nearest bathroom to start on them. As I'm cleaning, I hear a door slam just down the hall. I screamed a blood-curdling scream. What the hell was that noise? I went to check where the noise came from and it was one of the empty offices down the hall from the bathroom. Hello, I yell. Is anybody there? Yes, because whoever came to kill was for sure going to answer Kat, I said in disbelief to myself. I don't like being here alone, but what can I do about it now? 

    As I'm walking down the hall, I get closer and closer to the hand on the handle. Kat! KAT! Are you here? I heard this coming from the other end of the building. That's weird as I stand there stuck in place with my hand on the handle. KAT! Where are you? I know who it is instantly. Larry, I'm down the hall. I call out to him. I go back to cleaning. When he finally gets to me he's not too happy. Kat, I got a call from an unknown number today telling me that you were stealing from me. What Larry you know, this isn't true at all. I've been working here since I was allowed to come back to work, I told him. No Kat, you know I wouldn't believe a bad thing about or towards you. I breathed out a sigh of relief. Oh Larry you scared me. 

Chapter 6
    Kat, do you know who would be calling to tell me this? The only person I can think of is Dylan. I don't understand why he's acting like that, Kat. Larry, it's all about control to him. He's losing control of me and it's making him mad. He's losing all the control he had over me the longer I am away from him. He seems to think that he still gets to tell me what to do all while having a girlfriend, Larry. Kat, honey I know that you don't like to talk about this, but have you given any more thought to see a therapist? You need to focus on yourself to be the absolute best mother to the twins. You do so much for others, yet who takes care of you hon? Larry, I take care of myself. You know this. Yes, and that's the problem. Why do I need someone to take care of me, Larry? You need to get out there and start dating. Larry, I'm still legally married. That's not stopping Dylan, is it? No, it's not, I told him. Why does it have to be like this Larry? Why do I have to be put on blast yet he gets off free?  I don't have time to meet people. I work two jobs and go to GED classes plus the kids. I don't have any extra time to give a person. I got to get back to work Larry. Okay, kid just thinks about it though. You deserve to be happy as well, he says before walking away. I stand there watching his back as he gets further away from me and thinks, do I deserve to be happy? Sadness washes over me as I question myself again, Do I get to be happy? No, I am just going to take care of my kids and work my butt off to make something of myself so my babies will be proud of me. I finish cleaning the whole Lodge in about three hours and as I walk out into the chilly autumn evening I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. Hey Kat, how are you? I suppress a scream and spin on my heels. Oh hey Sam, I'm good. How are you? How did you know I was here? Oh sorry your dad, George let us know. Who is us Sam, I ask? Oh, Stephanie and I. I'm sorry she was wanting to come. I know how you feel about her and I am sorry. I just hadn't seen you in forever and I missed you. It's okay Sam, I have missed you as well, I said, reaching for a hug. Where is she, by the way? She's looking around. Oh, there she is. I hear Stephanie's shrill voice say. Hello Stephanie, how are you doing? I've been great Kat. She smirks at me. I really can't stand this chick for some reason. I can't put my finger on it but I just don't trust her. She keeps secrets. Man, do I sound paranoid or what? I think I am going to make an appointment to talk to someone. Maybe it's time to figure out if I am crazy or if there is a reason for all that I am going through. Well, guys, I have got to get back to the kids and be a mom again haha. It's not funny but if I don't laugh I will cry and that seems to be all I do anymore. I just don't want to cry all the time. I'm angry, sad, and lonely. Any bad feeling you can have I have been having lately. And before that, I was up all kinds of energy, slept little to nothing for days. My highs were high and my low well it's been really low lately.  Maybe I'm just depressed or stressed out due to working so many hours. As I sit in my Carl and I make the call to my doctor. They make referrals to see a therapist and a psychiatrist. I should hear from both in the next week or two. I honestly don't know if there is anything wrong with me. I wish I could do something on my own. I drive home listening to emo music. I text Corey to send me the list of supplies he needs for his school project after work tomorrow. I pull onto the dirt road trying to figure out what I should make for supper tonight.

           I pulled into the driveway only to see my older brother's car sitting in my spot. Yay! Not, unless he has Max, then I will be happy. If you can't tell, we don't get along very well. I get so tired of how he treats me. He acts as if he hates me all the time. That's something I should probably talk to the therapist about when I see them. Anyways, I park my car and head into the house. Mama! That would be my baby boy. Hey handsome, how is mama's boy doing? I love him and turn to his sister to hold her and give her kisses. Hey loser, my brother says. He is all I say back to him. Max's in the kitchen with mom if you want to see him. Okay, Maxy! Where is my little Maxy? Aunt Katty you know I'm five years old now. I'm not little anymore, he giggles. Oh, that's right I'm sorry buddy. I forgot that you are a big boy. I turn to my mom who is already cooking supper and it smells amazing. Mom, I thought I was cooking tonight? Oh honey I figured you had enough to do today with the kids being sick. I got off work early and decided to make your favorite to help cheer you up. I have noticed you have been down lately sweetie. Yeah, I spoke with my doctor and they sent out referrals to a therapist and psychiatrist to see what was going on with me. Okay, baby whatever you think is best. We support you no matter what. 

Chapter 7
   I received a few calls the next morning in regards to my referrals. I guess they are concerned about my mental health. The kids are feeling a little better so I will take them to Tina's and head to work. After getting myself and the kids ready, we headed out. Once we arrive at the sitter I park the car and get the kids out. Walking hand in hand, my two little ones marched up to the door and knocked. Watching them grow up to be independent little humans makes me super proud as a mama. Tina opens her apartment door and lets my little gremlins in while saying hello to me. After dropping the kids off, I headed to work at the cafe. I hope today is a better day than yesterday. As I reached the cafe, I realized the morning rush had already started. I race in to get ready for the workday, this time not crashing into anyone. I clock in and get right to work helping clear tables and seat people. I rush around helping customers and the staff. I worked a ten-hour shift today and then had a class to study for my GED. After cleaning up tables, I took orders and handed them to the cook, Frank. He's a good man. He doesn't talk much, but that's okay. My shift goes by fast with so much to do. I finish for the day and head to my GED classes. I arrived just in time for class. I'm not completely focused on my work. My mind is wandering and I can't stop it. Have you ever had so many thoughts that you can't focus? That's what is going on with me right now. I'm thinking about my babies, about my car. The class lets out and I get in the Buick and head home. I arrive home and go look for my babies who are in the office with my mom. It sounds as if they are playing with Lue our dog. They are playing with Lue with an old sock that she loves so much. The kids are laughing and playing and it melts my heart. Holden now grabs Lue and holds onto her neck while Harper pulls the sock. Lue is such a good dog. She puts up with so much from these kids. Hey honey, how was class? I couldn't focus for some reason tonight. 
    I have an appointment in a few days with the doctors. We will figure this out, honey. I hope so because this is getting out of control. Well, I need to get these little monkeys to bed. After getting them laid down, I try to focus on my classwork but I just can't. I finally just gave up and got ready for bed. As I fell asleep I heard Dylan's voice, who is going to want a slut and her two brats? No no, I can't do this, but my body soon falls into a deep sleep that I can't control. Dylan is right in front of me, I can feel the anger coming off of him. He grabs me by the throat and starts to squeeze me tightly. He whispers in my ear, you are worthless. Nobody will have you and those kids. You have stuck with me, Kat. No, I'm not. I managed to squeak out. You are nothing. You will always be nothing, he says as he squeezes harder. I know it's going to bruise. I should just kill you right now Kat. I should punch your face in until I feel carpet. Nobody will miss you. Do.... what.... you......want. Dylan. You always do, I think. He squeezes harder. My vision starts to blur and it's getting harder to breathe. He gets tighter and tighter. I wake with a jolt and realize my hair has been wrapped around my neck since I left it loose. After some time, I fell back asleep.
Three days later
  Mom, I'm going to my appointment now. Okay, sweetheart. Just be honest and tell her everything... I will mama. I drove to my psychiatrist to get signed in and just wait. Kathleen Prescott. Here, right here. I unload everything on this poor woman. Kathleen, I know what's going on with you. I believe you have bipolar 1, borderline personality disorder,  PTSD, anxiety, and a little bit of paranoia. We can manage all of this with medicine and therapy. You also work too many hours. I get that you are a single parent. You have to slow down. As I left the doctor's office and got my next appointment set up. I drove home in silence thinking over what the doc said. I get home to give the kids love and attention. So what did she say? I gave her a quick rundown of what was said. Okay, so you have to take meds, but for how long? The rest of my life. I'm going to do research on all of her diagnoses and see what they are. Do you want to help me? Of course, I want to understand you better. Thanks, mama for the support.
One and a half years later. 
  Mom, mom, mom, mom. What is it, Holden? Can we go play with the chickens? Yes, hold on baby. The years have passed by. My kids are almost three now. My phone rings. It's Sam. Hey, what's up? Hey, I know that you haven't been seeing anyone and I think you should sign up for an online dating site. What? Why? I think you should do it. Okay, I'll think about it. I get off the phone and decided maybe I should listen to Sam. So I set up a profile on a dating site, including my kids in the profile. I need men to understand why my kids come first. I'm doing better with the meds. I can cope with things better. Harper, I sign Are you hungry?" Mommy can make you and bub something to eat. Yes please, she signs back. Okay, baby mommy will make you some food. After I cook for them, I get them dressed for the day. I don't work as much anymore at the cafe. I cut back on my hours so I'm not too stressed. Okay, my loves. Let's play with the chickens.  

Chapter 8
The kids chase the chickens around and around. Harper can pick up her favorite chicken and she heads to their little area out of the sun. I got a notification on the dating app from an Army man named Scott who is stationed in Colorado. I go through his profile and it sounds pretty good. So I sent him a wink. Twenty minutes later, I received another notification that he sent a wink back. So I sent him a message. Just a short, hey how are ya? He responded almost immediately. I make sure he knows that I have kids. He says he knows and that he understands that they came first. I looked up to see both Holden and Harper sitting in the shade with a couple of chickens surrounding them. I can't believe they are turning three in a week. They have grown so much. It's been almost three years since I left their father three years ago while I was pregnant. We are still legally married yet he refuses to sign because of the amount for child support. He doesn't think he should pay what the court is wanting him to pay, so I dropped the price to six hundred dollars. Again, that was too much to pay. Mind you, he's making enough to pay more than that. I'm so tired of having to go to court because he is dragging his feet. Scott and I send messages back and forth for a while until I say I need to take care of my kids and get them cleaned up and fed. I told him I'll message him when I can. He tells me, no worries, take my time.  
    I can't believe this man knows that I have twins yet he still wants to talk to me. He still wants to get to know me.  That's completely not what I thought would happen. I need to call Sam and tell her. I will do that later. She's probably at work.  I'll text her and tell her haha. As I get the kids ready for a nap, my phone goes off. It's Sam. So you did it, huh? Yes, and I've already got a man wanting to talk and he knows about the kids and he understands I'm not letting them meet until much later because I don't know where this will go. I tell her. Well, duh that's understandable. What did he say? He was cool with it. He said he understood that I had to protect the kids and myself. Well, that's a good man. He's in the Army and is stationed in Colorado. He's twenty-six years old. He's from Missouri and his family lives about three hours north of here. He seems like a nice guy and you know I like a man in uniform. Haha yes, you do. So when you meet him, I don't know. I think we are gonna talk a little before we meet in person. We want to get to know each other. I'm going to do a background check on him first as well. I need to know who I'm bringing around my kids. If it gets that far haha. He could be a really bad guy or another Dylan. Nobody is as bad as him, Kat. Okay, well I need to get off here and take care of the kids. Okay, I'll talk to you later. After I hung up I make the kids lunch and then put them down for a nap. I took over the upstairs living room and gave the kids the room we stayed in. Corey joined the Marine Corp.  Dylan talked him into going. The twins share the room we all stayed in. I wish Corey would have done something else instead of the military. Anyways, I messaged Scott letting him know I can talk since the kids are down for a nap. We talked about our favorite everything. We have a lot in common. He wants to take me hunting and four-wheeling. We talk on and off for the next few days. We get to know each other better. He added me on one of his social media. We talk on there with his cousin Anthony. We end up with a thread of three hundred messages. It was crazy. Ever since I cut back on my hours at work, I have had more free time. I got my GED a few years back. I feel proud of myself. It's an accomplishment to have gotten it while working two jobs and being a single parent. Dylan is still dragging his feet about the child support. He's trying to control everything. We have been to court for everything under the sun. I threw out the abuse claim to hurry up the process. I really shouldn't have. But I am just so tired of having to go to court all the time. Scott knows that I am still legally married. He isn't worried about that. I told him I needed to get ready for work. We can talk later, hun I tell him. Kids are up and ready to go to daycare. I finish getting ready and take to kids downstairs to feed them. After I feed them and clean them up we leave the house. I am truly the best. The Buick has come in handy. I pay Lucky every week to keep up my end.  I get the kids to Tina'a and then head to work. I still work at The Peak Cafe and I clean The Lodge. As I make my way to the back to put my stuff away, I hear  Lewis and Carol talking about me. She works so hard but she's not been very focused lately. I know Lewis. I worry about her. I step around the corner so they know that I have heard every word. I can't believe y'all were talking behind my back, I say. We weren't saying anything bad about you hun, Carol says. It's just you have been distracted for months now. Oh, I can tell you why I say. I met someone online and we have been talking for months now. He makes me happy. How long has it been since I was this happy?

Chapter 9
 After my shift, I head to my car and my phone plays Toxic yep it's Dylan. What? So you met someone. How the hell do you know that I ask? I can't believe you. What are you talking about? How many women have you been with since I left you? That's not what we are talking about. The kids turned three and where were you? You know I was busy. Yeah, I know. I hung up and turned my phone silent. I don't want to hear his excuses. He's a coward. I can't believe him. He is getting information from someone that is hiding from me. I think it's Stephanie, but I can't be sure. I need to pay attention to my surroundings better. If she had been there she would have called him and told him. I get in the Buick and drive home to change out of my uniform and into clothes to clean in. I made it home in no time. George is picking up the kids on his way home. I quickly changed and headed to the Lodge to clean. I got to the Lodge and headed in but something seemed off. There is a feeling in here. Like somebody was in there. I go about my business and get to work.  After spending two and a half hours cleaning this place, I'm all done and ready to head home. As I'm locking up I hear the crushing of the gravel. Hello Kat, says Stephanie. Why are you here? Oh, is that any way to talk to your friends? You aren't my friend. Have you been following me and reporting back to Dylan? Why, yes I have. Well here's the thing, if you don't stop, I will involve the police. I'm done with all of this. He doesn't want the kids, but he doesn't want me to have them. That's kinda stupid, don't you think? I'm tired of having you everywhere I am. You can have him. I don't want him. He's with someone. That never stopped him when we were married. He would cheat on me all the time. Got a girl pregnant but she lost it. You can tell him that he can stop trying to scare me because there is no way in hell that I'm going to let him get my kids. 
          I will fight to keep my kids safe from the monster that he is. He will never change. He will get worse with age. You can report all of this back to him. I'm serious if you don't stop I will get the police. Yeah, okay whatever. I got in my Buick to head home and I had a feeling my phone would be ringing soon with him calling me. I will just turn my phone off when I get home. Sure enough, as soon as I pulled into the driveway, my phone started going off. I didn't answer but I turned it off. He's gonna get so angry that I'm not answering his calls or texts. Before I turned off my phone, I texted Scott about what happened and how Dylan was calling and texting me. He tells me not to let it bother me because soon I will be divorced. I just wish he would let it go. I have some leave time. Would you like to meet up? You know what, yes I would. I'll talk to my mom and see if she will watch the kids. Sweet I'm excited haha. I'll let you know tomorrow. George got the kids today since I was at work.  I opened the front door and here came my babies. Hello, my loves. How are you? Mama, we had fun at daycare today. Awesome buddy. Did sissy have fun? Holden turns to Harper and signs did you have fun today? Harper signs back yes very much. Have you guys eaten supper yet? I signed this so Harper can be a part of the conversation. Yes, we did. Papa made us some food. That's good mommy is hungry though haha. Can you play with us when you are done? Yes, of course, baby. How about I eat and then we go play in your playhouse? Does that sound fun to you? Yes, mama. That sounds great. We all sign any conversations we have around Harper so she can be a part so she isn't left out. She hasn't mastered reading lips she's three for crying out loud. I make some food and upon finishing it, the kids and I play with their farm animal toys until bath and bedtime. After reading to the kids and getting them into bed, I go down to speak with my mom about watching the kids during a weekend pass for Scott so we could meet. I have already told mom about him since we had been talking for 2 months. When were y'all thinking of meeting? Well, he will have a weekend pass from May twenty-third through the twenty-fifth. She looks in the family calendar. Yeah, we can watch them that weekend. Thanks, mama. I'm gonna go call Scott and tell him, I said, kissing her head. I hurried up the stairs, careful not to trip or fall. I get to my room, I'm already hitting his name. And like almost always, he answers on the third ring. What's up babe, he asked? They can watch the kids that weekend, mom said. Awesome alright I'll get everything for that weekend and we will finally be meeting. I'm so excited, I can't believe we will get to meet in person soon. I know, but it's going to take forever to get here, he says. I know it will. I'm ready for May already haha. It will be okay, we will be okay, he says. I know, but we have so much in common. I just want to meet in person finally. So do I but we can FaceTime and text all the time until then. That sounds like a very good plan to me.   

Chapter 10
I am in a really good mood today when I walked into the doctor's office for my appointment. I signed in and waited my turn. I'm a people watcher, not in a creepy way. I just like to watch how people interact with each other. There are so many people here for their mental health. Why aren't we talking more about this? "Kathleen Prescott?" Here. We head back to where my vitals are taken and then I go into the psychiatrist's office where I meet Dr. Kavangh. Hello Kathleen, how are you feeling today? Hey, doc, you can call me Kat, I'm doing okay, I told her.  Well, what we are going to do today is, I will ask you a series of questions and I want you to answer them as honestly as you can, okay? Yes ma'am. After what seemed like a solid thirty minutes of nonstop questioning, we are done. "Well, Kat, I am going to diagnose you with bipolar 1, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, anxiety, and a little bit of paranoia. I am going to put you on a few different meds to help. I also want you to get your thyroid tested because that can cause a hormonal imbalance which doesn't help with your mental health. You are very strong for what you have gone through and what you continue to go through. You are almost twenty-three and you have lived a life that no other can compare to. I understand that you don't like asking for help but you have got to or I fear what will happen. Your babies need you to be as healthy as possible or they won't be healthy and taken care of. You also have to stop trying to take care of everyone else before yourself. Make sure you set up boundaries as well. These will help with your mental health and physical health. I also want you to read a few books about these mental illnesses and journals. They will help you to understand more and journaling will help you to get out all the negative feelings. It will help you out along with the meds. We will work together and see if we can get you on more stable ground. Okay sounds good to me, I told her. Okay, well, I want to see you back here in two months to check your progress and see if the meds are helping or if we need to try something else. On my way out, I made my next appointment to see her in two months and make my way home. Upon arriving home, I feed the animals and mow the lawn. I figured I would help when I could outside since George and mom work so much. I head in to clean and shower, then to pick up the kids from daycare. Once I return home from picking the kids up, I start supper. Corey and Charolette are upstairs doing their homework but they will probably eat what I cook. Now just figuring out what to cook is the question. After their homework, Corey and Charolette come down and watch cartoons with the kids, all while making them giggle and laugh. Though Harper can't hear, she loves watching cartoons.
      After supper, I sat down with everyone and finalized the details of the kid's birthday which were coming up. Everyone has a job to do so I'm not so stressed out and can enjoy my babies. I decided to take Dr. Kavangh's advice and ask for help more often. Mom about fainted when I asked for help and George, well he just knew I needed help. Did you invite your dad and his family? I did, but they never got back to me in regards to them coming or not. So we shall see. I tried to call again today to see if they were and he didn't answer. It'll be okay even if they don't come to the party. You see, our dad and us don't have the greatest relationship due to how he treated us growing up. I feel myself slipping into a depression cycle. No Kat, you can't do that. You can't let yourself slip. I get up and say, okay well now that that is all settled, I need to get the kids in the bath and into bed or they will make it hard to get up in the morning. After bathing, reading them two stories, since there are two of them, I get them tucked nicely in their beds and head downstairs. The kids go to bed at eight pm to ensure they receive the correct amount of sleep. How am I going to live on my own with two kids and work two jobs? As I am lost in thought, Toxic plays on my phone. Ugh, what does he want now? Hello, this is Kat. How can I help you? Cut the crap Kathleen, I want to talk to my kids. Wait, what? Why do I ask him? Because they are my kids. Umm well, they are already in bed for the night. Why are they already in bed? It's only eight pm? I don't have to answer that. You have said for how long that they weren't your kids, yet now all of a sudden they are? What gives Dylan? If you don't have to answer my questions, I'm not answering yours. That is real mature Dylan. I just want to know why, all of a sudden, they are your kids when you have been saying I cheated on you and that they aren't yours. Dylan, let me talk to her. Maybe I can help. Who the hell is this chick? Hi Kathleen, my name is Sabrina. How are you doing? Who are you and why are you trying to talk to me? I am dating Dylan and wanted to know why you won't let him speak to his kids, she stated. You are joking, right? No, this isn't a joke at all. Well, how about you stay in your lane? He has been saying since day one that these kids aren't his and that I cheated on him. Well, we all know that you did, because there isn't anyone deaf in his family. Okay, this is done. Have a good night. The audacity of these two I can't even think straight. What the hell has he been telling this woman? I should have known his wanting to talk to the kids was to make him look good and for me to look like I'm keeping the kids away from him. What does he think he's playing at? 

Chapter 11
After our stupid conversation, I made my way to my room to get things ready for work tomorrow. I figured why not shower tonight so I can sleep in a little tomorrow. It's the little things in life that help big situations. I might think of getting my hair trimmed because I have let it grow past my waist. After showering, I braid my hair so it is more manageable in the morning. I prepared myself for bed and I heard a soft cry from mama coming from the kid's room. After checking on them and getting Holden back to sleep, I put myself to bed for the night. As I start to fall asleep, I am wondering what kind of game Dylan is playing with this new woman in his life. Kathleen, you are worthless. This is why I keep cheating on you. You are nothing compared to the women I get with. He's inches from my face now, shaking a fist, making me think he will hit me. No, he punches the wall right next to my head. Eyes down, Kathleen, when I try to look him in the face. You stupid woman! I can't believe that I married you. You mean nothing to me. Why do I do this to myself, I ask?  I don't voice my thoughts because that just means more pain for me. You are nothing but a whore. It is the same thing he always says to me to make me hate myself and boy do I. I wish day after day after day that I was anywhere but here dealing with his anger. Everything is always my fault. He messes up at work. It is my fault. The apartment isn't completely up to his standards, my fault. No matter what I do, it's never enough. I wake up at 4:30 every day to cook for him and make sure his uniform is perfect and take care of all the chores he leaves for me on top of growing two little humans. Like I said never enough. Now, don't get me wrong. I have a temper, but it only comes out when I feel like he is threatening my kids.  He acts like I am a burden to him being pregnant. I can't wait for the day that I am strong enough and believe in myself enough to leave him for good. Can I make it through without a high school education? Where will I work? Who will work with me when the kids are born? Are you even listening to me, Kathleen? Yes, Dylan, I always listen. That's a lie because I wouldn't be mad at you all the time if you did. What do you want from me, Dylan? That earns me a slap on the back of the head. God, you are so stupid, Kathleen. 
        I will never understand why I married you in the first place. What did I ever see in you? The things he says to me have me believing him. I worry that I'm not good enough. That I won't make a good mother to my twins. What if no other man wants me? What if I am gaining too much weight? These are things that go through my head all the time. Things will get better, I know they will. They have to. I wake as my alarm blares to life. Man, I don't feel like I slept at all. I hit the off button on my alarm and get myself ready for the day. Then I go and wake the kids and get them ready. Down the stairs, we go to make some breakfast. After breakfast, I sent a quick text to Scott telling him that I hoped he had a great day and we were off. To the sitter, Holden rambles on about something or other. You know how kids are. They talk about anything and everything. Their little minds go a million miles an hour. I park the car and let the kids out them leading me to the door, of course. Tina answers after Harper knocks a few times. Holden always knows what she wants and needs, even at this young age. He's very in tune with her. It is crazy to watch sometimes. I think it is a twin thing. After saying a quick hello to Tina and giving love to the kids, I headed to work.  Upon arriving at work, I have time to get a few things stocked for the morning shift. They asked me to come in early since I needed Saturday off for the kid's birthday party. I busy myself cleaning and prepping for the day. Before I know it it is time to open the doors and be ready for the morning rush. Before customers show my coworkers show up. You have Lewis our dishwasher, Karen and Sarah our other waitresses, Louis our cook, and Marvin our prep cook. They all come in around the same time as I do. We have to be ready for our big crowds. We open the doors and we are ready to go. The breakfast shift flies by with only a few spills. We get everything ready for lunch knowing it is just as busy as breakfast will be. At 2 my shift is over but I want to make sure everything is stocked up well for the next shift. I always believe if you make sure everything is stocked and ready to go it is a lot easier for everyone involved. I still have several hours before my shift ends and Carol comes in for the payroll to be done. Carol is a very good boss. She helps out when and where she can not like some bosses who pretty much make you figure it out. All is good until a group of guys came in that I went to school. Hi, how many are at your party?  Five, there will be five of us today Kathleen. I quickly get them seated and bring out their drink orders. Kat, yes how can I help you today? When are you ever going to give me your number? Well, Scooter, I don't have time with my twins and all. You know this. Every time they come in one or more of them has to hit on me. I take their orders and in fifteen minutes their food is ready. After that I get everything going and running smoothly until 2 pm when my shift is over. I quickly changed and headed to the Lodge to clean before getting the kids. The next few days go by in a blur. Finally, it is the day of the party and everyone shows up. Of course, my dad has something to say about Harper's weight and how she's getting chunky. I'm instantly thrown into a flashback of my dad calling me fat or saying this boyfriend or that one needs to lay off the sweets for me because I am getting large. You see all of my life I have dealt with some type of abuse or another. My father did the best he could at a young age but he didn't do the best for us. We were mentally, physically, and emotionally abused by him yet he doesn't think he was as bad as we all say. Pulled from my memory I turn to my father and say, that is not something you are going to do to my daughter as you did me. I have body issues now because of you and Dylan. Well now Kat, the things you say didn't always happen. You know what dad, the next time you want to say something about my children or pretty much call me a liar how about you keep your mouth shut. My dad leaves soon after I say my piece. 
       I have always kept my mouth shut and been a good girl. I didn't ever want to rock the boat, so to speak. Things were kind of rocky with dad and Elizabeth and they were having issues. I think it was heading for divorce. I feel bad for him but there is nothing I can do to change it. I can't make it better. They have been fighting more and more lately. My thoughts are you can't have a solid marriage when you get together by cheating. I do my best to give my dad the love and respect that you are supposed to give to one's parents, but he makes it very hard. It feels you with sadness knowing you don't have a good relationship with your father. I try so hard to make things better for everyone else but who is there for me? Who takes care of me? I have been asking myself this since Dr. Kavangh asked me last week. Who takes care of me? I'm a mother and work two jobs trying to make things easier for others. Things need to change for me or I am going to be a very bitter and lonely person. After the party when the kids are outside playing Scott texts me wanting to wish the kids a happy birthday. This man is so sweet, he wanted to buy the kids a gift each but I talked him out of it. I can’t wait to meet him face to face in May. I am so excited that I can’t contain it. We talk all the time and I am falling head over heels for him, plus I did a background check on him. What? I have to make sure he is safe to be around my kids. I have to protect them right? I thank him and promise I will let the kids know that mommy’s friend said happy birthday. I can’t believe this man, he’s so thoughtful of my kids. My days are spent cooking, cleaning, working, and being a mom. Scott and I continue to text and talk on the phone. We also Skype on the computer. As the day draws closer the more nervous I get about meeting him. What if he doesn’t like the way I look? What if he decides that a single mother of twins isn’t worth his time? Finally, the day comes when we meet face to face.           
         We decided on me meeting him at the hotel, yeah I know looking back that was a pretty dumb idea but I trusted him already. I wanted to make a big entrance so I knocked on the door to his room and turned my back to the peephole hoping that he looked through it. I knew it was a good idea to do it when he opens the door and I turn so he could see my face. The smile that crossed his face numbed all those fears I just had. We get into his car and head to Pizza Hut for lunch. We talk about everything we could think of. We had so much in common that it was crazy. He made me laugh a really good laugh. He asked about the kids. He asked about my hopes and dreams. He asked about my greatest fears and my biggest accomplishments. He asked all the right questions I was worried that he was just playing the part. We decide us spending the weekend together at his parent’s house in a small town I had never heard of. Where there are only 175 people in this town. We make the three-hour drive to this unknown location. Yes, I know very reckless of me but my mom is very careful about our safety and took down his license plate number in case something happened. I couldn’t explain it though. I trusted him not enough to meet my kids yet but that he wouldn’t hurt me. I was already falling hard for this man and we had only been talking for three months. It was almost like this man was made just for me. We had the same sense of humor, he was more on the logical side and I am ruled by my emotions. 

Comments

  • Apr 26, 2022

  • Kyndall Kornbrust

    Kyndall Kornbrust

    Is this cover confusing anyone on what the book is about?

    Apr 30, 2022

  • Apr 30, 2022

  • Kamal Kishore Sharma

    Kamal Kishore Sharma

    It seems me that author is writing the memoirs in the daily diary where the narrative refers chores, love for kids, and secret feelings of men and candid emotions of women as stark realities of life. Heroine leads the story - where author reports cryptic garbled emotional monologues and objections of woman in one's life where the passive hero does gradually. He may be violent but not portrayed as extreme violent. Author is confused - she repeats some incidents and chores. She doesn't captioned each chapter so the central idea and climax of each chapter is dull and ambiguous. Even no comment or gist she writes as prologue about hero, heroine and the cardinal incident whether it is tragic or comic or mediocre impression. Its tone is satirical and small sentences used altogether those are comprehensible for general readers. Author uses 'I' elemnt through out the book of Ten Chapters rather I say it is a long story - Where Author Indicates That She Is Going To Be Divorced Shortly. It is neither novella nor novel but miscellaneous memoirs (blogs). Rather she uses the literary device Soliloquy most and Interior Monologue least because she speaks in the mental horizon about suffering and agony to unknown audiences or readers - what she fixed the writing under the category Drama - no it is not drama but it suggests Monologue and Mono play of a lady character where she is the central figure and the story revolves round her. If dramatic script is written on the woman suffering and embarrassment of this creation - I would like to say diary but not book means novella with proper norms and captions.I mean author needs a writer cum editor who may write a script of Mono Play with the delivery of dialogues of Monologue. Its caption may be Passive Severance.

    May 08, 2022

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