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The easiest way to ensure that your sex life stays your sex life is to never, ever talk about it. It’s true. When you only talk about your BDSM life with your partner, there’s no need to worry that the secret will slip out or that you might mention something to someone who should not know. While this is certainly a surefire way to allow your BDSM relationship to stay hidden, it is not always easy. If you live with others or if you spend a lot of time with vanilla folks, you might find yourself accidentally referring to things you’ve done in the bedroom. It happens. So, perhaps it’s to possible to be completely quiet, but simply not talking about anything outside of your home is the best possible way of ensuring complete privacy.


Your contract might be enough proof to ensure that your sexual fetishes are consensual, so have a contract that spells out exactly what you and your partner like to do when you’re alone. This way, should the worst happen, you have some sort of record of your agreement with each other.Though you might not want to tell anyone about your BDSM life for fear of troubles with other relationships, with custody battles, etc., there are many valid reasons for letting others know what sorts of sex you might enjoy. For example, if one of you in your relationship might become injured or even die from any of your BDSM practices, you will have a harder time explaining things in this difficult situation. Thus, it might be wise to tell someone close to you things you might be enjoying in the bedroom. You need not be specific, but you will want to let them know that if they should ever find something that relates to BDSM, this is normal for your relationship and completely consensual..