Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Suspense/Mystery

Dinner's going great so far, so GloZell figures now's as good of a time as any to break into song. "Sittin' here with the food/Havin' fun with Jo-eeeeey..."

"Oh my!" Joey's grinning up a storm over there, sitting real pretty at the head of the table like some kind of fancy lord or something.

GloZell grins back and gets to the point. "I wish he'll give me some of that mon-eeeeey!"

Everyone laughs.

"I just got the house, okay?" Joey insists. "I didn't get money."

Oh, sure you didn't, sweetie.

"You could put it on the market," Matt pipes up.

As if. When you get a fancy house like this, why on earth would you ever want to sell it to any random rich guy who comes along? Uh-uh, nope, I'd keep it forever and show it off to all my friends. I mean, think of all the fun we can have here! This place is damn near perfect!

But not quite.

"That Sarah chick is a little scary though," GloZell remarks, vocalizing her one concern with the place as best she can. "That maid?" She grimaces.

"Yeah, she scares me," Joey admits as GloZell does her best creepy maid impression. "I don't know..."

"She needs to work on her makeup," is what Matt has to say about it.

But to be honest, GloZell doesn't think that makeup is gonna fix the problem here. I mean, look at her. She just stands there, scowling at everybody like we all peed in her soup or something...ugh, you'd think she's gonna shoot up a Dairy Queen if we look at her wrong.

When I become Mrs. Joey, and I get into the house, she's the first one that's gotta go.

 

Oli can't help but notice that quite a few of his fellow guests seem to be kind of...well...gold-diggers. Between Lele eyeing up the entire house and interrogating Joey on how he got it, to GloZell straight-up admitting she wants Joey's cash, they seem to have a lot of girls who want money.

As for Oli himself, he's trying to steer clear of all the money talk. He came here to have a good time, not to fish some extra coins out of Joey's wallet or whatever. He'll leave that to the others.

He has to hand it to the staff though; the food is delicious. Savory pork chops, buttered broccoli, creamy mashed potatoes that just melt in your mouth...it's not quite as good as the kind his mum makes, but it's up there.

"We should place bets to see where we think these two are, first of all," says Justine, gesturing to the empty chairs where Shane and Eva ought to be.

"Yeah, it's been a long time, they can't be in the toilet!" GloZell frowns. "You can't drop deuces that long!"

While she's talking, Oli glances at the entrance to the dining room, hoping to see their two missing friends ready to rejoin the group. Of course, he is once again disappointed; there's still no sign of either Eva or Shane. Oli knows that they're probably either taking forever in the bathroom or (if the more dirty-minded guests are right) making out somewhere, but he still can't help but worry.

What if they're lost? After all, this house is humongous...it's the kind of house you could easily get lost in...and who knows what's waiting up those stairs...

 

Sierra literally couldn't care less where Shane and Eva are. Sure, this house is big and all, and she still isn't quite sure what's taking them so long. But they're both adults; they can take care of themselves. Honestly, a part of Sierra wishes she'd gone with them...after all, it's fun to go exploring, and Shane is kind of cute, even if he can be a bit of a troublemaker sometimes.

Ah, well.

"So is this impressive to you?" Joey asks her, no doubt fishing for even more compliments. "My estate?"

To which Sierra replies, "Oh...it's cute."

Everyone gasps.

Well, what else is there to say? It's a nice house, but Sierra's still trying to stay in character, and she knows that the Heiress wouldn't be particularly impressed. She comes from a really rich family, she doesn't really work, she was handed a lot of things in her life, so...yeah.

"Am I the only po' one here?" GloZell asks, earning another round of laughter from the group.

"Well, you got a bedazzled headband on," Tim points out.

GloZell pauses for a second before responding. "I stole it."

This, of course, results in even more laughter—and yes, Sierra's dainty little giggle is a member of that chorus. She knows she should try to be more haughty, but she can't help it. GloZell's just way too funny to be ignored.

She finishes her mashed potatoes and is just about to start in on her bread (she's so grateful that someone thought to make some bread, because she literally can't get enough of that stuff) when all of a sudden, everyone starts cheering as if somebody made a three-pointer in a basketball game.

Shane and Eva have returned.

 

The minute Eva enters the dining room and takes her seat next to Oli, the interrogation begins.

"Where were you?"

"You're a little late!"

"Where were you guys?"

It's enough to make Eva want to bang her head against a wall, but she figures that wouldn't be proper etiquette.

Shane, who is currently sitting between GloZell and Justine, ignores the questions and immediately turns his attention to the food. "What is this?"

"Do not change the subject, please!" Joey's tone reminds Eva of a kid desperate to hear a juicy secret. "We want to know where you guys were!"

Eva wants to tell them what happened so bad, but what in the world is she supposed to say? Oh, we were just wandering around and we found the maid disposing of a freakin' body, how are you guys doing?

No way is she telling them that. They'd do one of two things: laugh at her, or panic. Neither of which would be at all productive. It’ll be better for everyone if she just keeps this to herself.

Besides, it's too early for this.

So she lies. "I was in the bathroom!"

"For that long?" Joey scoffs.

"Is this real food?" asks Shane, thinking with his stomach as usual. "Can we eat this?"

But Joey won't let up. "Why are you changing the subject? I want to know where you guys were!"

It then occurs to Eva that oh God, do they think we were...? Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. "As much as I love a good makeout..." But not with Shane, good Lord...I mean, I'm sure he's a good kisser and all, he's certainly kissed a lot of people, but come on, guys, I have a boyfriend, what the heck? "...I was literally pooping."

"Oh, okay," says Joey, and Eva breathes a sigh of relief.

 

Having apparently finished questioning Eva, Joey turns to Shane. "What about you?"

Shane swallows another bite of food, pretending he didn't hear the question. He knows what he saw, and he knows Eva saw it too, but...now's not the best time to mention it. Let Joey and the others live in blissful ignorance for a little while longer.

Not that he can keep it a secret forever, obviously. Eventually...he's gonna have to tell everybody. And boy, he is not looking forward to seeing the happy smiles vanish off of his friends' faces.

Fortunately, he's saved from having to respond by Arthur's arrival to the dining room. The butler's appearance prompts several "ohs" and "hellos" from the group, but Arthur doesn't seem to notice. He circles around the table until he's reached Shane, and then taps him on the shoulder.

Shane looks up from his food, and the butler hands him a rather official-looking piece of paper. A note...at this time of night...oh God.

"Okay, now you have to open it and read it to us!" exclaims Lele from across the table.

The group shouts their agreement, and Shane grins, pretending that everything's normal. "Y'all jealous?" Keep your cool, Dawson, it's fine, it's fine, it's probably Drew or Lisa wondering where you are, or Catrific trying to convince you to do another collab with her...

"What is it?" asks Eva.

"What's it say on the front?" Justine wants to know.

Ignoring his friends' barrage of questions, Shane reads the note...

 

So far, this party's gone okay. Justine's said hi to all of her friends, met a few new ones, gambled a little...and yeah, she still hasn't gotten used to the whole we're-in-the-1920s-now thing, but that's okay. At least it'll be a cool story to tell everybody when she gets home.

But if there's one thing she hates, it's not knowing things. So when Shane randomly receives some sort of note from nowhere, of course she tries to peek over his shoulder and catch a glimpse of what it says. But all she sees is the word "fifteen" before Shane maneuvers it out of her line of vision.

Goddammit, Shane. First you won't tell us where you and Eva snuck off to (she doesn't believe Eva's "oh we were in the bathroom" baloney, not at all), and now you won't even tell us what your little telegram says. Why are you being so secretive lately, huh? What've you got to hide?

But then she gets distracted by the arrival of the maid (ugh, GloZell's right, that girl's creepy), who's holding a covered dish of some sort. Assuming that this must be the dessert, Justine's sweet tooth gets the better of her, and she whoops and cheers along with the rest of the group.

Of course, no one's cheering harder than Joey. "Wonderful!" he shouts with an approving smile, and for a few seconds, Justine shoves all of the confusing stuff (the time period, the note, Shane's strange behavior) to the back of her mind. Forget it, girl, it's not worth it, let's just kick back our heels and eat some—

"OH MY GOD!"

Shane Dawson, who was perfectly fine a mere five minutes ago, is now coughing up blood all over Joey's fine china.

Pandemonium breaks out in the dining room. Everybody's screaming and squirming in their seats, some of them craning their necks to get a better look at Shane's plight, others trying to scoot their chairs as far away from him as possible. Joey shouts Shane's name, panic in his voice, his eyes wide with shock and concern.

As for Justine, she stays glued to her seat, watching in horror as her friend convulses and chokes right next to her. What is this place? screams her confusion, once again forced to the forefront of her mind.

I...I don't like it.