Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Motivation

Truth be told, I've never actually looked at myself or faced myself for what I was doing or how I was reacting. Recently, I've realized all I've been doing is looking for validation and I'm disgusted with myself. I've chased every single person I cared about away because of it. I'm 33 now, and I was stuck on needing and wanting to be validated for about 15 years. I turned into a narcissist. I became that guy that was always messaging, the boring fuck nut they'd always ignore and ignore and I'd get angry, which now I see as wrongful and disrespectful. I didn't believe in myself, I was afraid of rejection, I hated myself, and in tune because of those things I can say it was constantly leading me nowhere pretty damn fast. I was a nuisance as most women would call it. 

I will never look to be validated again.
I will never give into those self degradations.
I won't be that broken fucking record anymore.
I won't let what changed me a long time ago control the way I react or talk anymore. 
I will change, not for them, not for anyone, just me.