Never Again Read Count : 102

Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Motivation
Truth be told, I've never actually looked at myself or faced myself for what I was doing or how I was reacting. Recently, I've realized all I've been doing is looking for validation and I'm disgusted with myself. I've chased every single person I cared about away because of it. I'm 33 now, and I was stuck on needing and wanting to be validated for about 15 years. I turned into a narcissist. I became that guy that was always messaging, the boring fuck nut they'd always ignore and ignore and I'd get angry, which now I see as wrongful and disrespectful. I didn't believe in myself, I was afraid of rejection, I hated myself, and in tune because of those things I can say it was constantly leading me nowhere pretty damn fast. I was a nuisance as most women would call it. 

I will never look to be validated again.
I will never give into those self degradations.
I won't be that broken fucking record anymore.
I won't let what changed me a long time ago control the way I react or talk anymore. 
I will change, not for them, not for anyone, just me. 

Comments

  • Wise man

    Feb 19, 2022

  • Don't be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, nobody's perfect. Fact is, you saw where you went wrong, you acknowledged it instead of trying to make some poor excuse to justify yourself. That speaks volumes of your character. Nicely done! 💜

    Feb 19, 2022

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