Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

My life has never been a easy path

Ive seen sadness, I've known people's wrath

Still I don't know how I continue to find the light

When rarely do things go right

I have a wish I hoped would come true

But I know it's never going to

I lost my mind when I lost my world

The day I lost my beautiful little girls

No matter how hard I fought to get back to sanity

Nothing worked I became the definition of insanity

No one trusted me, even though I spoke the truth

I did what I could to fix it, like crumpled paper it would never again be smooth

I'm treated like I'm not allowed to have mistakes

Even though I tried my best, I didn't have what it takes

To be there for myself the way I was for others

In my pain I couldn't breathe as it would smother

I tried to be a good mother

But love and kindness don't beat all that is rough

Burned out thinking I can stay tough

When in reality my soul

Truly just had enough

One day I'll let my life be a way

For others to relate to find hope to get through one more day

I struggle with mental health and addiction because of trauma

Anxiety, depression making a lot of drama

My head is at war with my heart

Leaving me no fair chance to truly get a fresh start

The damage done to my brain

Without a little healing 

I'm to easily shutdown and unable to be tamed

I'm sorry for hurting the ones that I love

I'm trying to get better and rise above

The place I've been down in far too long

It's hard to do when everyone has been gone

I feel alone even if I'm not at times

It's hard to trust when no one could see through the"I'm fine's"

When I am shutdown and regressing to that part of me

That one or two have rarely get to see

I don't realize what is happening within and around myself right away

Fear, abuse and pain stay

Blinding me with their overwhelming sensations I feel in every cell

Body is riddled with the mental agony like I'm under a spell

Crippling me at times

Every where I look I see signs

Missing the best things in life

I tried to escape the night

That covered me without a light

Lucky I found some

It was just enough to make me fight

To see another day

To try to always find a way

To hold that love close 

Never letting it go, I miss it the most

Because if I didn't I'd be gone

It'sy strength to keep moving along

I hope to get back to that love soon 

Singing a happier tune

That is where I belong

Home with my children and family, I haven't been around for to long.