Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

Cry When It Hurts

"Lady-like"

I was raised to learn how to mask my emotions
To dry up my tears and show a decent face
It was those three years in my life I learned to mask the truth
It became like an everyday routine to hide my tears behind a smiling face. 
That's just how life was.
I was simply to sit there and be a proper young lady. Sit there and act like a decent child
Don't speak
"You're a child, you're meant to be seen and not heard."
That's what they told me. 
I couldn't object to anything they said. Because if I did they'd bust my lip. 
They taught me that way, to be a proper lady
"I raised you to be a young lady." 
That I also couldn't object to, because my parents raised me well enough to see it. 
But even some time every now and then profanity slips from my tongue. 
Every now and then a tear rolls down my cheek.
Every now and then, I take a moment to ask myself, "what is proper, in the human eye?"
Sitting with your ankles crossed and hands held above your knee. 
Dressing in pretty attire and powdering up your cheeks
Lining your lips with lipstick and keeping your hair clean and pretty
Is it just the outside that needs to make you look like a "lady" or is it the inside too? 
Even if I was raised like a "lady" I was raised around foul language and people. 
People who had done drugs and alcohol. 
People like my mother for example, but I won't go into depth about that. 
So perhaps on the outside I could be "lady like" but on the inside it isn't the same. 
No
More for myself, I don't take the time to make myself up.
Putting on makeup every morning.
Sure I get uncomfortable about the way I look, but if someone has a problem with that, they can get over it can't they? 
And don't tell me that saying something like that isn't lady-like. 
Well I know it ain't, but that's my concern. 
I think the best thing I had done for myself was accepting me for who I was. 
I won't put on a fake face just to sit and look pretty, you know what I think? 
I think the world could change it's heart.
And not just that, but... Hell I don't know how to put on makeup or anything about makeup, even if my life depended on it.
Not only that... But I'm too lazy to dress up for anybody or anything. That's none of my concern, really. 
Dressing up in pretty dresses, is a rather mature approach. But I was raised in the South. 
A T-shirt and blue jeans are good enough
And if I'm going to do my hair, I'm gonna pull it up into a messy bun and live with it.
Am I perfect? Hell no. 
And I'm completely fine with that. 
I think being lady-like is just being who you are, and that's as good as it gets. 
It's okay to shed a tear every now and thenm Crying is just a part of being human...
Emotional struggles, depression and anxiety, all of that bull, but... It's just part of life, I reckon... 
If they can't accept me for me, then that's their problem. As my parents say "They could kiss my-"
Well... I won't go that far...
Yeah... So much for being a proper lady, but I'm just being me and that's perfectly fine. 
Nothing wrong with that. 
Nothing wrong with that at all