Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

Short conversation on the phone.

 "Can I come to your place now?"

 "Can't. Sorry, I'm about to go with Paul in few minute."

 "I need you..."

 "Sorry. I can't. Paul already set up the Saturday Date for us since last week."

"...but I do really need you right now. I'm broken and I don't want to be alone."

 "Sorry."

 --


 I sound so desperate for attention like a whore.

Let me write this now.

I was young.

It was long time ago probably on 2008. 

I still remember it. 

And that's it. 

It was the last time I was begging for a companionship toward people. 

Hell I stopped doing that since they mostly broke my heart.

I stopped expecting people too much.



I was young, didn't mean to be rude to all my fake friends but,

I only have few friends 

And I don't blame you, Jules. 

Believe me I don't.

I just don't understand why you disappeared.

We shared lots of things together since the very first time we met at playground school.

I have another friends but I always made time for you.

I have made more friends at school but I didn't forget you.



We loved Kpop, all about Korean stuffs,

and when real life hits me so hard

I got to be an adult and taking care of myself

I've dealt with work stuffs, life and some shits

and we started to lose our connection.



You started your new life with him, set up for collage and I was here, working and collect every pennies I had for my own sake with no boyfriend.

We still keep communicate but things changed.

You said I was only using you and your boyfriend.

Yeah maybe I did, I apologise and since then I stopped.

It wasn't a toxic friendship but you kept lot of secret though.

Especially when you don't like things about me.

You didn't talk to me but to your boyfriend

or to your other friends of friends



I don't blame you, Jules

When you weren't there for me 

but God knows,

I was there for you when you have nobody,

when you left behind by your folks 

because you can't continue to go to school

have had some financial issues

Your mom told me that story 

and I didn't leave, I was there for you

and when your mother passed away on your 17 birthday

I was there for you 

sharing the same spot near her grave.



Time flies now you married with him and you didn't even invite me, that's okay.

I have my own life too. Got a better job, have a boyfriend. 

We have been on a different path now.

It's been years about more than 5 years

Right now we totally lost connection and I can say that I'm okay with that.

Maybe you needed your man more than you needed a friend like me during that time.

It's okay, it's fine I understand.

Wish you a happy life, Jules.


 - Vivian Lin