Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

Where do I begin? 
With the story of how I got sober or the one with mistakes I have made? 

I guess they both are the same story just different chapters; Pages filled with the brightest times, consisting the most radiant smiles and belching laughter. 

While others were gloomy and dark as I lurked in the shadows. 
Only wanted the shade. 

[I remember wanting to be center of attention, all eyes on me.
Then again, I remember just wanting to be alone, hidden away. 

I remember, oh I remember. 
You're not the only ones to feel lost. 

I remember, oh I remember, what it was like to want it all and not want anything at all.] 

My life may be complex, hard and unfair but it took me a while to realize that so is everyone elses. 

Selfishly unaware that I had fallen so deep into self pity I had pushed those that truly cared for me so far away they were forced to say their fairwales. 

Those of you that stayed, I love you so dearly. I must make it all up to you, for all the damage I have caused. Now, I see clearly; Bloody, beaten and bruised caused by my own, at last I have finally realized that..

[I remember wanting to be center of attention, all eyes on me.
Then again, I remember just wanting to be alone, hidden away. 

I remember, oh I remember. 
You're not the only ones to feel lost. 

I remember, oh I remember, what it was like to want it all and not want anything at all.] 

Each day is a milestone, every moment gives you a choice that must be chosen. 
Life is full of decisions, destiny is real and you're the one in control of it. 

I drowned myself in drugs and alcohol to attempt to send my demons to the deepests parts of the abyss in my mind. 

I confided in substances, I believed they were the crutch to help me exile these dark energies to the world I keep a lock on. 

Only do I realize now that the substances were my demons trapping me in the world I keep a lock on. 
I sank so far into that abyss, drowning alone fighting no demons, only myself. 

So yes, 

[I remember wanting to be center of attention, all eyes on me.
Then again, I remember just wanting to be alone, hidden away. 

I remember, oh I remember. 
You're not the only ones to feel lost. 

I remember, oh I remember, what it was like to want it all and not want anything at all.] 
 
I can remember, reminisce on the past, but I'm not who i was and boy time sure did move fast. 
Who i am now is not who I was or who i will be. 

Change is inevitable, proud to say I'm not drowning deep in that abyss, I'm only sailing that sea breathing in bliss as I metamorphosize into someone where I'll remember that I crawled through the mud and I climbed over mountains. 

Yeah, I remember now, with a clear mind and a vision. 
I was a boy afraid to grow up to be the man that I've always wanted to be. 

Signed,
ThoseMeaningfulWords. VH.