Relationships Are Hard Read Count : 21

Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A
  Why is it that in relationships one seems to put more into it than the other? Should each of you give 100% or is it just 50/50? Why does one feel the need to share everything and the other can’t share anything?  Some couples never really speak to each other. Some couples lie or withhold things from each other while other couples tell each other everything. Is it how we are raised? Do children of married couples have a better view of how to make a marriage work than that of children with divorced parents? Or do they see that one of their parents never seemed truly happy because they had to always put a smile on their face to keep their spouse happy? Do children of married couples wonder if their parents only stayed married for the kids and not because they truly loved each other? 

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, or does it make it easier to live without someone when they aren’t involved as much? Is it less heartbreaking to let them down easy by making it seem like they choose to leave you than if you left them? Is it to spare them of a painful truth your not ready to divulge to them?  Do you share your passions and interests with complete strangers and not your spouse? What are you missing in your relationship that you find in a stranger? Why can’t you ask your spouse for whatever is missing? Are you doing something you should or do feel guilty about doing? Are you embarrassed of the situation? If so then is it worth it? If not then why keep things from the person you vowed to love and honor til death? Easier to talk to stranger because your worried about judgement or you just don’t want your spouses input? Do you not value your spouses opinions? Are they not worthy of knowing what is going on in your life? Why wait til something has already happened to share it with them? Are they on a need to know basis?  Why the need for so much secrecy? Is it to push them away?  Do you want a life outside of your spouse? Do you expect them to ask you everyday if something has changed in your life? Do you ask if something has changed in their life daily? How many times does one beg to be apart of your life before you let them in? How many times until they give up? How would you feel if they behaved as you are? Do you even notice if and when your spouse is unhappy, sad or depressed? If you do notice do you try to help, or leave it alone because as long as your spouse doesn’t say something is wrong it’s easier to pretend as if you don’t know? What is your response to them feeling one of these ways? At what point would you become upset if you were treated this way? Would you even be upset? How long does a person beg to be apart of your life before giving up? Would you notice if they gave up? Would you care?
 Do we really listen when our spouse reaches out for emotional support or do we just say whatever it takes to shut them up? Why do do some couples fights turn into violence? Why do some people feel the need to break something to make them feel better? You feel better when something is as broken as you feel inside? Why do we deflect when a spouse brings a problem to you? Why can’t you address the problem rather than simply have an excuse as to why it happened rather than admit fault? Do you not want to admit to yourself that we really shouldnt treat people the way you do? Is it easier to act as if we didn’t mean it that way so we feel justified by our behavior? Why do people seem to care when they feel they are losing someone rather than care so you never lose that person? Would you be content being treated the way you treat your spouse?  Aren’t we taught to treat others the way we want to be treated? What does it take to make a relationship work long term? Are you willing to do it even if you need to adjust how you interact with your spouse? If they stopped doing things for you unless it benefited them would it matter? Do you ever wonder what you can do to make your spouse happy or make their day a lil easier for them without expecting something in return? Do you only do things to make yourself look like a good spouse? Do you hide arguments from people around you so you can look like “the perfect couple”? What would it hurt for someone to know you and your spouse argue? Is it all about your self image rather than what’s best for your relationship? Better to be politically or publicly perfect than show you are human? When the conversations with your spouse are getting shorter and shorter are they getting longer with other people? 
 Do the marriages that do last make it because someone stays quite about how they really feel? Are there any marriages where both parties are happy? Like these couples really try daily to make each other happy? Do relationships last longer because one of them is suffering to please the other? At what point does the fighting stop because nothing changes or it’s not worthy of an argument anymore? Do you eventually just say this is better than nothing? How well do we really know our spouse? Is it just surface information we retain? Like favorite song, color or food? Do you know things nobody else knows about them? Is it things most anyone who has known them for very long could guess? What are they afraid of or hold closest to their heart? What memories do they hold onto and what memories do they wish they could erase? What would your spouse die for, more importantly what do they live for? Why is it ok to disrespect your spouse? If they tell you something that makes them feel disrespected why would you ever want to do something to make them feel this way? 

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  • Jul 28, 2021

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