Tell Me That I'm Lying Read Count : 18

Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A
Tell Me That I'm Lying... 

When you hear me say that I feel pain.
Tell me that you really know what its like to be me
Tell me how you know what I'm feeling right now. 

You. Can't. 
You can tell me that my depression is fake, you can tell me that it's all in my head, you can tell me that I just want attention. 
But then... 
You tell me, why don't I tell you
You tell me why don't I open up and talk to someone about it, you tell me to speak up, you tell me that you are listening, and that you understand my pain. But deep down you are nothing but a liar, and you see nothing that I see.
I open up to someone and they say that what I am feeling is nothing, its all in my head.. They tell me "stop faking depression"... I take the medicine for that, but still I feel it you know... I take some of the stupidest things to heart, you know... I take the past and ruin my present,you know... I go everyday faking a smile, you know... I go everyday saying I'm okay, you know... I look in a mirror and I hate myself, you know... I wish that I could just die here, you know... I dream of feeling less pain, you know...  I just wish that I could change, you know... I wish that I wasn't breathing you know... I wish that you wouldn't sit there and tell me that what I'm feeling isn't REAL you know... I just wish that you would stop judging me you know... I wish that you would STOP ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW HOW I'M FEELING.

Because you don't know... How I'm feeling right now... You know nothing about me... You don't know what I've been through, you can't go and tell someone that you know who I am when you haven't stepped in my shoes. You can't just call me a liar because you think I just wanted attention. I don't need you to powder me, I don't need anyone to feel sorry for me. I don't want your remorse. I don't want your empathy. I don't want your attention either!
I just want you to take me seriously... Take this feeling seriously... Take depression seriously. Because. It. Is. Not. A. Joke. 

Have you been in pain, and taken medicine? 
Have you been hurt, and gotten a hug? 
Have you been scared, and been comforted? 
Have you been sad, and made happy? 
Have you said something, and have been heard? 

Have you had suicidal thoughts when no one would listen? 
Have you locked yourself in a room because you've felt indifferent? 
Have you needed someone to hold you when you were afraid? 
Have you locked yourself away because you're stuck in some cage? 
Have you gotten PTSD from something bad that's happened? 
Have you suffered in the past that's haunted the present? 
Have you lost happiness and only felt sad? 
Have you done something wrong, and felt so bad? 
Have you torn yourself apart for no apparent reason? 
Have you cut yourself in hopes it'll wash away the feeling? 
Have you despised your self and wished you were dead? 
Have you ever had only negative thoughts surrounding your head? 

Tell Me... 
Tell me right now... That I am lying... 
Tell me that my feelings are fake... 
Tell me that I'm nothing but a joke to you... 
Because I hear it everyday... 

Tell Me That I Am Lying
But then... 
Tell Me that no one has caused suicide... 
Tell Me that no one has depression... 
Tell Me that no one has hung themself from the branch of a tree... 
Tell Me that no one has cut their own wrists because they wanted to die... 
Tell Me that no one has wished to be dead... 
Tell Me that no one has needed help... 
Tell Me that no one has fallen down on their knees... 
Tell Me that no one has cried... 
Tell Me that no one has suffered and died... 
Tell Me That I'm Lying To You... 
But How Am I Lying, When All Of This Is True

Comments

  • Jun 01, 2021

  • Jun 01, 2021

  • A good narration with repetition and alliteration - Fake and pompous facades seen and felt but not declared. I like the devices used in this poem.

    Jun 03, 2021

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