A Letter To The Fairest Child Of Them All Read Count : 66

Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A
My dearest Mr. Fairchild,

These words that I'm about to write do not come close in expressing the magnitude of my feelings for you but I will try.

Ever since I met you I felt drawn to you like if there was some sort of connection between us. It felt like as if though I had known you all my life. That is why I felt so comfortable expressing myself with you so openly.

It was like you knew me as well because you managed to enter my mind with ease dissecting and deciphering parts of me that I didn't understand. You helped me learn things about myself that I didn't even know existed. Nobody has ever and possibly will never understand me the way you did.

Never in my life did I think that I would be so bold enough to do the things I did with you and in general. It was like a whole new world was opened to me. It felt like you were Aladdin and I was Jazmine riding this magic carpet ride to a land full of wonder. I had never felt such intense feelings before for someone I had barely met. It was both perplexing and a little scary but I liked it.

The time that we spent were the most beautiful and magical time I've ever experienced in my life. Although, my circumstances didn't allow me to stay longer. I wish I could've. I never wanted to leave you. I never wanted to stop calling you. Never did I want to stop hearing your soothing voice. It was medicine for my heart. I'm sorry I had to and I would be even more so the following year.

As a way to feel closer to you, I took Chemistry. Although, I wish I would've taken it while I was in communication with you. It would've made it even more fun and insightful. I received a 'B' by the way. I could've received an 'A' but with the changes that occurred during the start of the pandemic the stress and worry of your well-being enveloped me and I couldn't focus. I only hoped and prayed that you were doing well and you were staying safe.

If you remember a little after we had barely met and were communicating through phone, I had expressed my fear and concern about a dream I had with you? Well it seemed that it would come true. Although, I would end up finding out months later of your passing away. 

It was and it still is the most painfully devastating moment of my life. I didn't know what to do. All I could do is cry (and I still do) at the guilt and shame I felt for leaving. If only I had stayed. If only I could be there for you in your last moments. I wasn't able to give you a proper goodbye my darling.

My beautiful creature. I miss you so much. I wish I could hold you in my arms. I wish I could be in your arms and just stay there forever. I'm so sorry my Mikey. I love you so much and I always will. 

I know you're in a better place now. I will always remember and treasure the moments we had. Though I got in trouble more than a few times because of it but it was all worth it. I will do it all over again but maybe a little differently just so I could have you in my life again.

I know you are with me now and that you are closer to me than you've ever been before.

In the end, I found the greatest friend, love/r, and confidant a girl could have. I only hope that I was the same for you. 

Until we meet again my darling.

Love always,

Your Martha 😄💖

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