Ambivalent Around Agony Read Count : 116

Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A
Confusion with devotion towards a damned refusal, my endless love brought threat to regret, 

The alluding truths subsided by mindful persistence, attempting to fix concentrated Agony proves to this brunette,

That no matter the trial followed by error, experiencing endless terror praying, the pain seared the soul by my most dear, someday hopefully I'd forget.

Locked in a crushing vice with malevolent and scurrying lice, the infantry fighting my mind without sympathy, weighted my bereaved spirit by her disorders within the alphabet.

Crushed by malice but somehow safe from madness, pouring from her chalice to poison my agency with sadness, I'm stronger now because I didn't cave, unengaged and no longer enslaved,
 the children are the true asset.

Forgetting the pain will have nothing to gain, being insane has hardened the brain, everything for her is what I gave, 
the kids are safe, 
I'm not too late, 
this all along was my fate, 
I no longer have to play russian roulette.

No matter the game for pain to regain from being insane, 
I never stopped as I'm chopped, 
feeling my weak lungs cough as I dropped from loves loft, 
deep within I begin again like a cassette.

I still love her as the knife has burrs, twisted sympathy and white lies inside her mind,
glide through my soul to take control, within a self proclaimed hell hole that takes toll, 
the agonizing burn ironically brings a cold sweat.

My epiphany that the love is within me,
something I could never breathe, 
too much truth a little to late is infinitely captivating, 
inward truths spoil the dream I was always undertaking, 
a kiss of death to paint life with a new palette.

I needed the pain to see my truth,
I wanted the love to gain my youths,
I hated my life before the grief turned to proof,
I am proud of my transformation to become emotionally waterproof,
She will naturally change under her own mallet.

Lifers love where brutality resides, opposites attract by civil war attached,
Lessons exhausting to rock bottom,
Time moving and lives challenging autumn, 
I'm brave enough to be enticed by love so calloused.

Being Ambivalent with Agony,
I've proven life's hardest lessons is only death second guessing,
Keeping strong will have her confessing,
Staying quiet for the kids gives my blessing,
Success to defeat death who I was french kissing,
Addressing a distressing depression unrelenting, 
my perseverance in life is how I casted my ballot.

Comments

  • Mar 03, 2021

  • Aroused strong feelings of depression, anxiety and deterrence - readers may afraid of Russian roulette! After all, deep impressions. Carry on for next creation.

    Mar 03, 2021

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