Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

 Dear body,


I almost let you get the best of me. 
I refuse to let you have me believe this true. Because it’s not. She’s alive and healthy. She’s beautiful. She’s the sun. I know pregnant body.. you miss her.. I’m her angel and I will take the best care of her. Don’t you worry... I feel like postpartum is, a pregnant woman mourning the loss of her child. The body and the mind fight against one another...


Signed, mind 


Let’s remember, the body plays tricks on the mind.. phantom kicks are extremely real.. they can last up to 7 years or even up to 28 years. Which it feels like flutters or even baby kicking inside of your stomach. Let’s not forget the all mighty hormone monster too! Your hormones double in size when being pregnant! & sometimes your body still puts out the hormones when there is a not baby.. so as a fresh parent your filled with way more thoughts or feelings on a matter that could be more simple really.. but it’s not to you because you are having a different experience. Which is normal. Again body and mind just haven’t caught up to each other. Remember you changed your whole life at a drop of a hat for a little mammal.. with no idea how you were gonna do it. But deep down, it didn’t matter if you did or didn’t... you knew you had to. That’s the beautiful instinct of being a parent. You are doing a fine job, don’t you worry. I myself struggle with postpartum after 4 weeks of having my daughter. Because my body hasn’t caught up to my mind. & because my body is telling me she’s inside. & my mind is trying to tell my body she’s gone. In turn, it’s being understood as she’s gone as no longer existing. So my emotions.... are mourning for her... my heart is torn up from listening to both sides.... and couldn’t imagine losing her. So my protective side kicks in I feel like as a mother bear I must protect and everything around me is trying to cause her harm. But she’s here. My cognitive thing knows the truth. Knows she’s here and knows the measures to take. I believe that’s why the lose of a child is so great to the mother. Whether it be in early months.. still birth... or after delivery. Moms really don’t get checked on as much as they should.. I know when I was pregnant with my first they did but not too much paid attention to my mental. It was like “Yep! Body looks good! Do you want harm yourself.. your baby.. or anyone around you? No? GREAT! Baby is cute! Have a good day!” And then from there all your appointments consist of development for your child. Which don’t get me wrong very important. But what about the mother... how’s your true mental because I know first hand as a mom it’s easy to mask our issues or what we seem to be issues.. and bottle it up. Hold it in. Fake it until we make it. & I definitely feel like that could all make us a little bit nutty. Haha. Don’t forget your strong friends they need you now more than ever, and especially our mom friends/local moms or even those that weren’t so lucky to make it through delivery. We have to support one another. It’s hard out here. The world is challenging enough why make it worse? I say that to say this! LOVE YOURSELF, KNOW YOU HAVE GOT THIS! YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB! & MOST OF ALL!!! YOUARE  EVERYTHING TO YOUR KIDS. YOU ARE ENOUGH! Never forget to take it day by day, one step at a time. Thanks guys! 

Signed, with love from 4 weeks pp momma