Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

how did i get here?
Who am I is really the question.
Am I my mothers child?
Am I my fathers daughter?
Am I the incest survivor...the sexual abuse survivor?
What about the domestic abuse survivor, or the child abuse survivor??
one thing is for sure...I am a survivor,that is for sure...but the problem that I am having today is who am I now? Wounds have healed, tons of forgiveness has been given,
 1000's of counseling sessions and research of my family tree...lies have been dug up and exposed...but what do I do now? All the masks are put away, the self hatred has been released and now all I can ask is..Marie...what do you want to do with your life since you have been able to break free and you stopped looking back...no more pretending to be "normal", no more fitting in a mold. I look around and realized I am not happy because I have played this role for so long...the survivor, the victim, the judge, the researcher, the counselor....something for everyone...but what have I done to help myself now that I no longer need to be what everyone wants me to be?  I realize I am too old and poor to really do the things that I have always wanted to do...so now I just stare into space feeling empty and confused...what now?  How did I get here?