Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

Living in the mind of a borderline,
Being perfectly ok then irrational in seconds,
The constant feeling of your blood boiling with no rational release,
The wanting to find the gray scale in life but you only register black or white ,
The knowing and living with intensified unstable emotions,
The braking down an pushing away everyone around you because your minds unstable in that moment everything you say is irrational,
The consistent falls you have even during treatment reminds you of the failure and waist of life you are,
The inability to see past failures and harbor the negative energy until it triggers a severe depression and mental break,
Allowing people in to love the person you show them an push them away once they see the broken you,
The neglect love an care you hold shows with every spiral down accompanied by a suicidal attempt,
That trauma and pain we hold is a constant reminder of what we feel we deserve it’s all we see so we feed it more pain,
Ironically it serves as a release so each phase out becomes more impulsive in hopes to feel again,
While secretly hoping someone reaches out to rescue us from another deadly attempt,
Or completing it releasing ourselves freeing from the fight of the borderline mind,
Hoping it leaves peace and relief on the ones we leave behind, 
If only they knew the intensity you feel within yourself fighting a break of the mind,
They would understand your attempts resulted in attempts of leaving them better off less hurt by you or broken from a manic snap of inward thoughts in a borderline mind. 
JamilahBassemah