Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

Again and Again

My life is like a record, 
It keeps playing in repeat, 
It never stops, 
Despite the efforts I make to move on, 
Despite my attempts to try, 
I keep falling right back, 
To the same place I'd began. 
I began to start a new chapter, 
By moving on from heartbreak, 
By moving on from the past, 
But I couldn't get away from it. 
That same song keeps playing, 
Over and over again, 
Time waits for no one
Not even me
It watches me, 
As I sit here, listening to the same song
To the same beat. 
It's like an endless corridor
One I can't escape
Every turn I make, every door that I take
Leads me into another dark room. 
I think I'm going in circles. 
The music, in the walls. 
The same screeching that surrounds my head
The same stupid tune. 
I tried to change, but it didn't work
Maybe I didn't commit to change. 
I've been scared of it. 
Maybe that's why I tend to turn it down. 
Maybe that's why I struggle. 
With this same burden. 
The same ghost that haunts me
The same hell that took my soul. 
I've lost against the darkness
And I can't seem to find the light
Or maybe I'm just so blind, 
That I can no longer see. 
My heart is shattered from the same PTSD
The one that keeps replaying in my mind
The one I can't seem to get rid of
No matter how hard I try. 
I've wasted my time on this same old chapter
Thinking that I could turn the page
But yet I keep coming back
My sweet sweet sin
How could I leave you? 
How could I walk away?
I want you to be by my side
Only you can understand my heart
Only you can understand head
Only you can understand who I am.
My sweet, sweet sin
My high
My low
My life
You've reeled me in, 
A fish on the end of a line
I took your bait
Maybe I was hungry
Hungry for a new start
Hungry to get rid of everything I suffered
Hungry to walk out of this world with a smile
But you pulled me back in
And here I am
In the cage you've kept me in for too long
Maybe as I get older I'll become smarter
Maybe once I make it out of the dark
I can see the light
Maybe my heart no longer has to be black
Maybe I can get rid of this void
But yet the same thing comes back to me
When I'm lost in my head, I can feel you
Your soft touch, and sweet taste
Your soothing voice, and dead gaze
I hold on to you. 
Please let me stay. 
Guide me away into a world
One that I can't escape
When will this record ever break? 
Because as long as I am here with you
It plays Again and Again