Category : Stories

Sub Category : Drama

   I'm one that's made so many mistakes it's unbearable. Karma has hit me more times than I can count. I tried drowning my past with drugs and alcohol, in tune, it only made things worse. 
   Like quite a few love stories that ended abruptly, I was 17 and she was 14. All the girls in my grade encircled the table where I was sitting alone at for lunch one day while I was face down in my notebook writing and told me my dating her was wrong of me. They then poked and prodded until I let a few of them read the book. I broke up with who I was dating a few days later, over thinking lead me to the decision. I broke up with her, never truly telling her how that moment came into action. A regret I'm forced to live with, one I've not apologized for. If one day she sees this, I hope she knows that I'm sorry for never giving her the real story.
   After her came someone more amazing than I could ever dream of, once again she was younger than me, she was 16 and I was 19. She made me believe I could fulfill my dreams, but it all fell through the seams the day on the rockpile by the bridge when she said, "I can't say I love you too." That's the moment I lost control of my life, and fluctuated straight into an everyday state where I was black out messed up before noon most days. A lot of those times I still don't know the stories. There's so many dark spots, still yet to be filled. I've been told of a few that I still don't believe I did to this day. During my childhood, when I was still very young, I remember so vividly being choked in my sleep and I woke in a panic because I couldn't breath, what I saw though was a hallucination because I wasn't getting oxygen then I blacked out and somehow I'm alive still, I think that night turned me into the monster I became. I chose the path I took, I blame only me for my choices after her. I'm finally attempting to do better these days.