The Butterfly Read Count : 105

Category : Blogs

Sub Category : LifeStyle
I was always super tiny. Five feet, two inches tall with creamy skin and hair that (in my papa’s words) “shined like a brand-new copper penny when the sun hit it.” I struggled the majority of my life with trying to gain weight. I’d look in the mirror and I could count the bones in my body thanks to Gastroparesis . Then after 9 years of waiting to get my weight up to 100 lbs it finally happened, and on a beautiful December day my gorgeous blue eyed boy was born. He was everything I had ever dreamed of but my body was damaged... both for the better and for the worse. I couldn’t prevent the weight gain (nor did I want to do so). It shot up so quickly that I barely realized what was happening. I went from a size 0 and underweight to a person I didn’t recognize. Not only that, but other people didn’t recognize me either and it made me feel... ashamed. Due to my health issues I never really got to experience what a healthy body type looked like. When I was initially pregnant, I remember touching my flat stomach and saying goodbye to it while floating in a tub full of warm water one scorching summer afternoon. Call it intuition. My youth was ripped away from me due to severe uncontrollable weight-loss (again, Gastroparesis), and my early 30’s we’re torn from me due to weight gain. I tried dieting a few times but nothing really stuck or worked. Somehow around Christmas I got a random phone call from a close friend. Her voice filled with joy and pride over her twenty pound weight loss. Then later, another friend called and she too discovered an immeasurable amount of happiness over seeing her body change for the better. I woke up one morning having found a well of motivation and determination to become the butterfly I only dreamt of being. Having had many moments under my belt now where I felt like I may cave to weakness... I dug deep and found the strength to do, and be better. My supportive husband at my side, my child begging me to take him to the park with the 2.5 mile walking path... I’m down sixteen pounds in a little over a month. My intermittent fasting schedule is around 18 hours. My shirt size is down to a large from an extra large and my goal is to be healthy sometime before summer. My body is forever throwing obstacles in my path and I can’t control that, but I can control when I eat, and what I use to fuel my body. I have 28 lbs left to loose now and every day that I stick to my diet brings me that much closer to my goal. I don’t want to be the skinny, sickly girl of my youth... I want to be the healthier version of the girl I never had the opportunity to know. The curvy girl with weight in all the right places. I deserve the honor of meeting her. I am determined to see her spread her wings and shine.

“Your desire to change must be greater than your desire to remain the same.”

Comments

  • Jan 29, 2021

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