Facebook's Toilet For Polished Turds Read Count : 14

Category : Articles

Sub Category : Miscellaneous

   All my writing starts with the journaling of an idea. Then I go into as much depth as I possibly can on that topic. Remember a bad poop sinks, the good shit stick! Then I simply polish those turds up until their nice and shiney, transformed from rant to premise. Twas the deification of a golden nugget in a shit storm.

   For myself, the goal is to just keep ranting on the subject and try to hit all the angles, every point of view. What starts as journaling, note taking, and rambling satire, hardly entertaining enough for me to reread then edit. Yet prosicist I cut the useless fat and the mundane simply melts away. What's left behind are just some nuggets. Raw nuggets in need of a proper polishing and a coherent train of thought, but connected nuggets. Now it has somevalue, a nugget of wisdom. A Golden Nugget.

   It's easy to rant about a meme or a dumb post and then come up with something clever in retort, childs play. Great troll practice exercise is to build your case and experiment with different written debate techniques, either in the comments or with myself in my notes. Regardless, my satirically  heavy writing style is bound to produce some cheeky word plays, sarcastic analogies, and an overflow of my own consciousness to comb through and make it presentable.

   I will take all my Facebook rantings, troll like comments, absurd debates, and all of my arrogant points. Elaborate on each topic in depth, with the intentions to link many topics together for an overall narrative arc. A splattering of random thoughts, sewed together for a web of intriguing writings. Specifically framed to illustrate my own clever points for a diagnostic analysis of self imposed grandstanding subjects in the wood works.. Transforming my obsessively relentless shit posts into something of actual substance. A work of writing, rather than incoherent rant. A beginning, and a conclusion for the idea in question. Feels more legitimate to me than the stereotypical facebook preaching.

   It's my stepping off point, my home base for collecting random thoughts and ideas for my short topical writing. Then when I get the wheels moving and my creative juices a flowing. I'll switch my focus from just my random thoughts to the larger project at hand. I will say this without any doubt in my mind. I've come up with my best jokes, most clever points and elegant debate strategies shitting under a bridge. They were then fused with the madness of modern people's opinions on the absurdity of life and the world as we know it.

   Egotistically holding my statements to that of the word of God, or God like written wisdom. Unexpectedly an overwhelmingly real feeling of despair will spread through me, my mind, my soul, my body, as I'm trolling the webs for a deep and complex conversation. Fishing for intriguing thoughts and ideas, using my cleverly worded nonsensical posts as bait for a fellow oddball thinker. While the average post is dramatically mundane, predictable, lacking all signs of human intelligence or sparks of individual uniqueness. All of which must be accounted for, the Transcended and equally the Retarded.

   I'm taking a role as a front row spectator, as a drama seeking civilian, with my sarcastically pessimistic narration of the collective's random thoughts supposedly intellectual ideas are vomited from the masses. The rambling zeros to the well spoken heros, equally held in contempt.

   When I scroll through Facebook without fail, always something that will fuel my rage and my need to comment. Venting through written words, I'm simultaneously creating a database of my thoughts and analytical criticisms. A collection of different beliefs, codes of conducts, written wisdoms, self-help philosophies, disciplined behaviours, and structured manifestos. The growth of my one true passion project.

By that massive dick Jewls Decess

When satire goes astray, that whole point’s thrown away. My intentions still stay, because the lack of success does not take that away…...


  • Dec 31, 2020

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