Tiffany Falls - Where Are You Christmas? Read Count : 43

Category : Stories

Sub Category : YoungAdult
Hello everyone. My name is Tiffany Falls. I'm a writer and this is my opinion including my story about Christmas during pandemic aka the dark times. 

Hmm, welcoming December. it's Christmas month. Christmas vibes. 
I saw Christmas ornaments everywhere, anywhere I go. Even I couldn't go as much as I wanted since the Covid 19 thingy. I saw lots of store giving 50 till 70% discount for each products to get more consumens. 
It's been a rough time for this year. It's also would be a different celebration for Christmas this year since the pandemic has started all over the world. It sadden me but there's nothing we can do right now. 

So, What is Christmas means to you?
I think everyone have a special Christmas at least once in their lifetime, right? 
Yes, yes, yes. 
What about me? 

Nothing special about Christmas for me to be honest. Every year it's always be the same. Like, 

- Same Christmas song plays in my laptop. 
- Same red shirt and hot pants that I always wear during the 24rd till 25th.
- Snacks, snacks lots of snacks. Don't worry, I will never get fat easily. 
- Making coffee. Lots of cup of coffee I would prepare for myself in my room while people spend their time at the church blowing candles for silent night. 

Usually it's just me alone in my room with my mini Christmas tree. My family don't celebrate Christmas but me and my brother do. Samuel moved out from this house, started a family with his wife and we never get in touch since then. 


A week before Christmas.

I got a call from Samuel. He informed me and my mom that he wanted to invite us to celebrate Christmas with him and his family on 25th. I was so excited to hear about that honestly but not with my mom. She was too much nervous and anxious to prepare herself to meet Samuel’s family. She kept saying things that would make me change my mind but nope. It didn’t affect anything to me. All I was thinking at that time was finally I will have a special Christmas. But then the goverment has made new rules about having long vacation and holiday trip during Christmas. 

Yes, we have to do Rapid Antigent test and show that letter to the police or cops that been patrolled around the mainroad during Christmas holiday. And it’s not cheap by the way at least for me. Since the pandemic has started and I lost my job I have been dealing with financial problems and it's kind of hard to pay for the test. 

I talked about it with Samuel. We have a long conversation over the phone. He wasn't in Jakarta but in Bogor means we have to cross the border to get there. Can't deny the Rapid Antigen Test though. Knowing this issue, my mom also refused to go. I know she was as excited as myself before but after she heard about the rapid antigen test, she said, 

"I better not going anywhere. I am old now and I think I choose to stay home this time. I don't want to pay for some bullshits." 

Some bullshits? 

I know what she was reffering too. It wasn't just an issue with the rapid antigen test, not an issue with my brother too but also with his wife. Old stuff old story. 

"Mom, it has been almost 7 years and you still hate Cindy?" I said. 

"I don't hate her," she replied. 

"Oh but you were still on that?" 

"I know why they want to invite us, Silly. It's because they want to brag themselves about having new big house etc." 

I exhale my breath. "Mom, let's see. Put yourself on her shoes now. She married Samuel when he literally has nothing. Nothing, Mom. And now things changed and they have both a better life. In case it was you, wouldn't you brag yourself for your achievement? Huh? Think about it. And it's not the main reason Samuel invited us. I know him better than you, Mom. Please put aside all those negative thoughts about them and try to see from different sides. They just want to have some quality time with you, with us."

Nice catch, Tiff. Mom kept quite.

So the trip been cancelled. And Samuel also understood the situation. He didn't force us to come. I know it's a hard decision to choose. It supposed to be the best year of Christmas for us, for me and my mom because we haven't even celebrated it together with Samuel before. But the situation, social distancing, put mask on, wash your hands rules also lot of restrictions area makes me tired of everything. It sadden me many times. I miss the old days before this happened. But I can't do anything about it. It is life now adays. 

25th. It's Christmas time!!!! 

I played Christmas song on my laptop since morning come. Mom got day off from work so she stayed home with me. She didn't cook anything but I choose to order food using Grab Food so at least we can share food together on the same table. 

Samuel called me at 10 in the morning. We do video chat together with Cindy and her son. And he spoke to mom too. What a beautiful Christmas day I have. Even if we can't see in person but the vibe still there. The energy, the love, kindness and everything still on the first place. 

I know 2020 is different. I tried to look from a positive side of this thing. We might have cancelled the Christmas celebration party with Samuel but one thing I know, we are still family no matter how far we have been separated, no matter what biggest mistakes from the past we made towards each other, we are still a family. Knowing this important thing made me realise that Chrismas isn't always about a party. Chrismas isn't always about a celebration. Christmas means so much when you have lots of people you love and you can spend quality time with them. Even from the distant. Thanks for technology. Christmas always in everyone's heart. What's important thing is you still have the light in you to shine so bright so other people can see the colors in you without even you realising it. 

© Vivian Lin 


  • Dec 27, 2020

  • Dec 27, 2020

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