Finding Me
Read Count : 131
Category : Adult
Sub Category : Adult Fantasy
Well I'm not sure if I've already written this but ....lately I've been doing a shit load of "soul "searching advise given to by my shrink.... in laments terms I need to come to terms with all the things that's been eating at me since like forever.... Taking into account I've always been a go getter but my main problem with being that was actually completing the fucking task... yeah I would be able to do different things at different times but in the end I always just stop and thus my project comes to a sudden halt.... why I don't know really ... Like take my writing I will write chapters on end and for days and then I would stop eventually I would scrap the whole thing and start again.... the only things I seem to complete is my daily routines sleep wake eat clean bla bla bla.... so hopefully by "inking"this I will be purging myself of sorts and hopefully I Wil be able to go all the way with dreams I want achieved. December 13 1984 .... was the day I was born ... a healthy baby girl.... a gift to some and a curse to others in terms of race and beliefs ... me I just wanted my next feed ... I grew reached and apparently excelled my milestones ... cleverer than the average kid... but lacked focus... I would have graded it to A.D.H.D... but unfortunately no... I was just an inquisitive kid... I love nature I could spend hours on end exploring the Bush behind my grands house looking for bird eggs, monkeys, snakes, frogs anything of interest and how they worked. Learning was a breeze and my grades well I was a geek straight out only with out the specs ... I love reading and writing .. and the more o learnt the more I was drawn to books and knowledge.... girls to me was an effort to be frank ... they where to much and more.... always worried if they looked pretty or their clothes were clean... me I couldn't give a fuck... I loved being a dustbug and enjoyed hanging with the boys ... they was just so much easier to predict ... seriously all they needed was eat sleep shit cars games and bro's before hoe's...... which worked out well with me ... and thus was my life till I left grans to live with my mom.... well u guys know how that worked out but what I never said was the fact that i kept hoping for some Prince charming ... and he'll why not I felt like some how I was being punished by God for sins I didn't commit .... Anyway long story short .... I had a shitty teenage life got married early into an emotionally and at times physical abusive marriage ... I had 3 kids alive and well... whom I adore with every beat of my heart ... and now at the "ripe"age of 32.... I find myself lacking and wanting more for me .... is it wrong to want that after so many years of giving my all to everyone who needed it or is by time I started doing things for me well what ever the answer ....im going to start doing me ... yeah I know it's mean but no matter my kids will always be priority and then me ... so stay tuned for my next instalment of Finding Me....😘💋