Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Drama

Chapter 6 


  It was early morning, the sky outside was just transitioning from night to day. The hot pink hues painted a lovely image for those lucky enough to be up this early. There is something so soothing about this time of day. The still quiet is calming and therapeutic as I gaze out the window getting lost in my thoughts. 


 My mystery girl now had a name. “Alex, Alex, Alex,” I whispered. I loved the sound of it as it rolled off of my tongue. I keep replaying that day over and over in my head. I imagined a different scenario where she would grab me and we would sneak off into a room. She would shove me against the wall and kiss me hard on my lips. I shook my head trying to erase these thoughts from my mind similar to that of an etch a sketch. I wish it was that easy, to just shake my head whenever my thoughts wandered out of safe boundaries. That's the sad part of all of this, my heart wants what it can't have, because people can get hurt, or even killed. I was not emotionally capable of being responsible for that. 



 Even knowing all of this, I am unsuccessful in my attempts to rid her of my thoughts or more like, my heart. Josh would be home in a few days and I needed to forget about her before then. He was able to sniff out things like that, and I wasn't ready for the pain he would inflict on me because of it. 


 Maybe if I kissed her, to get it out of my system, I rationalized. I wouldn't have to constantly wonder about it anymore, maybe it would end this two year obsession I have with her. I had a few days to figure it all out. I needed to call Lauren to get her opinion, but it was still too early. 


  The house was quiet, the boys were still sleeping. I was thankful to have such good sleepers, I have heard horror stories of children that wake up with the sun. I enjoyed my quiet mornings to myself, I thought as I got back into bed. 


 Laying in bed listening to the soft purr of the ceiling fan, I reached down to feel the wetness between my legs. My insides tingled as Alex flooded my thoughts. I imagined her hands grasping my hips with force as my entire body trembled in delight with just the light touch of her tongue. I moaned out in pleasure, my hands clenching the sheet so tight that my knuckles turned white. I rolled over and drifted off to sleep. 


  I woke with a start, as I jumped up in bed. The sun poured into my room erasing the dark shadows that once took over when the sun was just peeking out. What time is it? I panicked as I looked over at the clock. In bright red, the numbers flashed; 10:15. I jumped out of bed and ran to the boy's room. It was unlike them to sleep in this late.


 The hallway felt never-ending as I inched my way to their door. I was in a panic as I stared at their empty, unmade beds. I turned quickly and ran to the kitchen, then the living room. Where were they?, I thought as the tears welled up in my eyes. I ran and tried all of the doors. I was hopeful when I found that all of them were locked. They had to be in the house. I ran around screaming their names as I checked under the beds, in the closets and all of their favorite hiding spots. Nothing. 


  My hands were shaking as I unlocked my phone to call the police when I heard the front door open. “Mama, we brought donuts,” David yelled. I dropped my phone as I ran, crying to the front door. I stopped in my tracks, “Josh, you're home,” I cried. “Yes, I wanted to surprise you, clearly it worked,” he laughed. “Damn you Josh, you scared the shit out of me,” I snapped as I hugged the boys. 


  Drew looked up at me with his big blue eyes, “why you sad mama? We have donuts,” he smiled. “Sorry buddy, mommy doesn't like surprises,” Josh joked. “I like surprises just fine, just not when I wake up to my children missing from their beds,” I fired back. 


 While the boys sat eating their donuts, with chocolate stained cheeks, I stared at the coffeemaker while it slowly dripped into my cup. I was sad, I thought I had a few more days before he came home. I felt the familiar tightness in my shoulders as I tensed up thinking about it. 


 I was startled from thoughts when Josh came up behind me and grabbed my ass. He leaned in and whispered into my ear, “Meet me in the bedroom after you put on a movie for the boys,” he demanded. My stomach turned at the thought of it as I tripped on my words, “I am making coffee,” I blurted out. As soon as I said it, I felt his hand grip the back of my neck, through gritted teeth he groaned, “no is not an option.”


 He walked away and I cleaned up the boy’s faces and put on cartoons. “Mommy and daddy need to talk, so watch TV quietly ok,” I said as I painted a fake smile on for the boys. 


 My feet felt heavy as I strolled down the hallway to our room. I swallowed that all too familiar lump in my throat, took a deep breath then turned the knob and opened the door. He was there stretched out on the bed naked. I winced at the sight, then turned to close the door. “Lock it,” he ordered. I obliged, it was for the best, I didn't want to risk the boys walking in. 


 I stood there in my nightgown trying desperately to hide my disgust as he demanded I remove it. Slowly I slipped it off and it fell to the ground. Feeling vulnerable, with nothing but panties on, I started to noticeably shake. Josh climbed out of bed and walked towards me. I flinched when he reached out, only to be surprised by his soft touch. “Babe, I love you. I'm not going to hurt you,” he whispered as he took his finger and traced over my nipple. Goosebumps covered my body as I shivered from his touch. He forcefully grabbed the back of my hair and pulled my head back. I felt his hot breath on my neck as he gently nibbled, then he turned me around and shoved me against the wall. I closed my eyes as he forced himself inside me. I winced through the pain as the tears fell down burned my cheeks. 


  He shoved me down on the bed and left me there as he showered. I buried my face into my pillow as I cried. I needed to safely get away from him, but how? I've gone over every scenario in my head, and they all ended with Josh hurting someone. It was up to me to keep the boys safe from their father. 


 It only made sense that I would end up with someone like Josh. I should have known it was too good to be true when he chose me to be his bride. My entire life I've been surrounded by men who abused me, both physically and emotionally. I thought when I met Josh things were finally different. My prince charming had finally come to rescue me, or so I thought.