My Diary Read Count : 55

Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A
I can't handle people anymore. They all thank they have been through shit but look at me. I have been sexually abused and kid napped my my own father. I have been abused by his wife, and still no one gives a shit. It's like hello am I even here? Like honestly. It feels like no one can see me and when I speak no one lisones to me. Am I even important? Like really am I? People say "I love you" but do you eve know what the wird love meens? Because I don't thank you do really. Everyone tells me they love me so much but if you do then why. Then why did you leave me? You left me here in pane, in tears, makeing me thank I did something wrong. Like just mabey. I felt like my forth loved me but no I was wrong about that. All I wanted on my 11th birthday is to see him but no because he was to busy driving people around not even getting paid for it. But, but! On his birthday he asks, "hey can I come see you?" Oh hell no! Im done with you! I am now 15 and not once have you ever been there for me. Not even one time. On tope of that you try to blame everything on my mom? No. Just no. No one talks shit about my mom. No one! So what did I do? I'll tell you what I did, I booked him on absolutely everything. After things started to settle down then this boy wolk in my home. He was in my life for 13 or more years. 13 or more! He had two kids, Alexs and Hunter. You might be thanking why are you minchaning this boy? Because he is the one how sexually abused me. I looked up to him as my bad, as family. His kids were my siblings. I have known them sents I was some were between 3 or 5. All I remember from the first time meeting him is that I was dancing behind my mom while she was doing the dishes. Next thing you knowing "nok nok nok" all I cold thank is how cold that be? no one noks on are dore. I was 12 when it all happened didn't stop until I was 13. Now today I'm dealing with love problems. Huh love it. 

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