Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I know what it is like to feel the coldness of loneliness buried deep within me. It's painful and torturous. I had spent many nights crying myself to sleep, hoping that no one will catch me hiding the tears beneath these dark and heavy eyes.

Then out of the blue, he entered my life. 

He touched me in the nameless places of my soul. 
He left his mark in the forest of my thoughts. 
He deciphered my story and helped me find the light within the darkness of my storm. 

He has become my inspiration. 
My source of strength. 
And he has brought feelings back into my life.

He has made me realise that I am not alone and that all I have to do is to open my heart and look with fresh eyes.

Now, I can feel the blood flowing through my body. I can feel my heart racing in my chest, blood rushing in my veins and I can feel a warm flush as pink roses rise to my cheeks. 

He is just what I need; 
all smiles and swag, 
simplicity and sanctuary, 
refreshing my memory on how good it feels to be weightless.

I will forever be indebted to him for all the things he has shown me; his kindness, his gentleness, his honey-soaked intentions.

At times, my world feels heavy. But because of him, my heart is now a little lighter.

Why does he care enough to check up on me when he's busy, stressed, or going through a hard time? 

Why does he care enough to offer me his shoulder to cry on when I needed to cry? 

Why does he care enough to make the effort to surprise me with things that he knows would make me smile? 

He's a gem. I guess that's why.   

Why does he go out of his way to make me feel that I don't have to go through this life alone? 

I feel comfortable enough to share my deepest thoughts and most intimate feelings with him knowing that I won't be judged. 

I feel safe enough to share my pain with him knowing he will understand and he will be there for me to help me heal. 

A beautiful Soul is what he is. 

When I was scared, he told me not to worry. When I was terrified, he made me feel safe. When I was feeling weak, he held my hand and gave me strength to carry on. When I fell, he picked me up and dug me out of my misery. 

In many ways, he helps me keep my sanity. 

I can talk to him about the same problem over and over again and he never gets tired of reassuring me that things will be fine and everything will be okay. He opened his heart to me because he wanted to, not because he had to. He has given me more than what I asked for without asking for anything in return except to love him. 

A true blessing is what he is. 

Life happens, people get busy, but he always finds a way to make time for me, to include me in his life, to make me feel special and important. He doesn't let distance, time, commitments or responsibilities get in the way of our bond, our connection, and our love for each other. When people leave, he assures me that he will always stay. When things fall apart, he reminds me that we are still intact. When things change, he assures me that he will always remain the same. 

My life would be so different without him in it. It would be dark, dull and scary. 

I am grateful for him. 
I am thankful for him. 
I feel so blessed to have someone like him in my life. 

He has gotten me through some hard days. He has brought so much joy into my life. He has made me laugh during times when I find it hard to even smile. He has been pretty constant in my life. 

And the most beautiful thing about it is, he has done all of that just by being himself.

But why? 
Why me? 
Why now? 

Why are we thrown back together now after spending thirty plus years living our own separate lives? 

Why is he put back into my life now when I am officially single and available after the passing of my husband? 

If this was already "written", why is this happening now when this pandemic is going on, acting as a barrier for us to meet and be with each other? 

Is the universe plotting to bring us together? 

Is God trying to tell me something? 

Is fate putting some sort of twist in this situation that I'm struggling to understand?