Category : Stories

Sub Category : Comedy

Hello everyone! This is a light hearted, easy guide to starting a business in the children farming industry! I will show you how to get your business started, how to take care of the children, how to get your child meat in walmart and plenty of other things! Let's start with the basics.
    First, you need to pitch your idea to someone with enough money to help. Of course, many investors will come flocking as soon as they hear such a marvelous idea such as farming children like animals for food! A small loan of a million dollars is enough to get this business going- so once you find someone willing to lend you a million dollars or so you'll be set.
    After that, you need to build the proper places to put your children and find some children to farm. This can be a bit tricky but I can help you out. You need a building for infants and toddlers- usually from ages 0-5, a building for kids 6-10, and a building for teens and preteens ages 11-18, a breeding chamber, and a slaughter house. Now to catch kids it's very easy. Go around in the streets with a net and capture stray kids out after dark. Going to a few schools and taking them from there is a good place to start too, and it's especially easy to go into some orphanages and pick up a bunch. Once you have your kids, sort them into their respective categories. Out of the teen and preteen houses, grab the least inbred children (to make sure the gene pool isn't too bad) and if they don't have kids quick as rabbits threaten to grind them in the slaughter house and feed them to the other kids- and do so if they don't. Make sure that the infant house is fed a mixture of apple sauce and ground up kid's bones. The kid's house should be fed a mixture of solid food that is sausages made out of other kid's flesh, and some veggies here and there. To make sure the kids eat their veggies- those who don't are fed to the other kids. The teen section should be fed a mixture of corn, children, and vinegar. When kid's are bred out of the breeding section 2 males and 2 female kids out of 5 males and 5 females will be kept for breeding, the others sent to the houses. When a kid is born with birth defects that may cause the meat to not be of quality will have their hair, eyes, and tongue removed, and the rest thrown in the meat grinder to be fed to the other kids that did survive. Kids with sickness shall be quarantined until well. Kids who die without our assistance into leading them to death will follow the same fate as kids born with birth defects. Kids will be removed from houses at any point deemed nessasry and slaughtered. The slaughterhouse will hang them by their toes and whack them with a wet noodle until the light fades out of their eyes. Different body parts are sold separately and packaged differently- as well as the age groups.
    Finally, now all we need to do is sell our products! Go for mainstream markets like Walmart, Winco ect. and try to see if they'll sell your human children meat. Now of course no one would turn down such a marvelous idea as selling human flesh of someone below the age of 18 in a walmart!
    Now you have conquered the world and everyone eats the meat of children. Kids never come out of their house in fear of being caught and the world is in your hands. I hope this guide helped you take over the world with cannibalism.