Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

The truth of the matter is that I used to always give into thoughts of others. It kept making me so heartless. Losing my original concepts. They know how I really felt but still I was the only one holding open the heavy iron door. There's no other plan, you all know how messed up I am, forced to give in, kept losing me in the end, so every bit of pain I feel comes out as mostly ghostly and no one can figure out how to deal with me so I turned these walls into steel infused concrete to make it that much more difficult to let anyone in. Line for line, I'm telling the truth again. Finally ready to move on from the pain. Time to stop giving into those thoughts of the past, the demons are too strong now, that's why I built all these walls, but nothing prevents their thoughts. I remember hearing all the last calls, people forcing me to realize something about me that I never wanted to actually see. This journey has been destructively taking everything of me. Every piece of me. Now I sift through the rubble finally piecing every bit of me back together again. Embracing me with everything I am, every word that comes creates a new plan. 

This is where I make that new stand. Leaving the past where it needs to stand. I'll remember it only when I need to figure out what not to do. It's a new concept for me, belief in me, I can't stop the words coming out of me. No longer worried about money, just want to get out this misery so I can finally see if this dream is really what I've been stuck on most days. So relentless.