Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

Do Not Rob A Bank This Way

It was sometime in July but it was really hot they had no more of his stinky mind-blowing pot
Since he had no weed to smoke, he didn't even laugh at his friend’s stupid jokes
He sent his friend home he wanted to be alone to cry he couldn’t call anyone to help he had working phone
He was mad upset and bqqy the way his name is Fred he had only one friend his name was Ned
They been friends since he was ten that’s when Ned moved in across the street because his dad went to the pen
No money no credit and he had nothing to sell except for this stupid broken old cracked cell
He looked everywhere in the house for money closets beds basement and rooms that were never used but couldn’t find any not funny
This he thought was just not fair because down the street was a bank that had plenty to spare
While he was pouting in bed a thought came into his head
Yes that in itself very rare indeed he never got one before when he was in need
Did they not teach us in school that it was very nice to share if he came down and withdrew some he didn’t think they would care
So, he called his friend Ned to come back and bring his car now Fred expected him to come over right away to the house it was not far
Since he was 10, he lived next door   it took Ned over an hour just to cross the street sometimes Fred thought he was a bore
Once he arrived, he told him his plan to get some pot from the bank down the street across from the park it was a beautiful spot
Ned isn't very bright said they don't have pot at the bank it has only money and Fred shook his head and Fred’s face remained blank
Fred slapped him in the head stupid said Fred we go to the bank steal the doe and then run we get in the car and hightail away to have some fun
We then go buy us some pot to smoke roll us some blunts then take us some tokes
They then shall pick up some dames on the way the back so they would get high and jump in the sack
Now Ned was all excited about getting high and laid he nothing else to say he just stood and left he went and got the car as Fred grabbed the guns so they could go have some fun robbing a bank today
They then drove to the bank in his car that was spitting flames they jumped out with their guns pointed towards the bank but to their shame
Fred thought it was strange no one was here the sign on bank said it was closed today yes you see it was Sunday and it was not open until the next business day
Fred hit his friend in the head again with my hat Stupid Ned Fred said why didn't you say it was Sunday today Fred then spat
Then the gun slipped out of Fred’s hand hitting the ground it went off killing and old black cat that was just laying around
Both Fred and Ned jumped back into the car now it was getting real not a game and they took off as fast as they could this was getting lame
They went back to the house they still had no pot for neither had any money both were quiet as a mouse
Before they arrived to the house that was just up the street the car began to shake then the engine blew ejecting them from their seat
Ned landed in a tree hanging upside down and Fred landed right next to him on the ground
There was nothing left of the car it was scattered up and down the street  Ned who was now out of the tree went to Fred and had a seat
His car that was now not to be said to Fred why do crazy things happen to me
Fred said cheer up Ned we will buy you another tomorrow after we go to the bank and ask them for money to borrow
Morning came and they were getting ready for the big score when Fred forgot they had no car no more
How to get to the bank that was a problem he had to think on it a bit he began to Pace up and down he walked as his hand to his head he began to hit
All of a sudden, a thought just entered his little bitty brain we shall call us an Uber they can take us instead of the train
Neds mom called them an Uber she thought it was funny since they had no phone or any money
When Uber arrived, they jumped in hiding their guns in their pants so the driver did not see that they were armed and then Ned began to rant
About his stupid car that blew up all over the street Fred yelled at him to stop and kicked Ned in the chins with his feet
They arrived at the bank and looked all around Fred got out of Uber but his gun again fell to the curb without making a sound the driver saw something fall he looked and saw a gun on the ground
He said are you stupid Ubers don't carry cash you fool or you robbing me for fun I smack you take your guns and throw you in the trash
But Ned open his stupid mouth to say oh no sir we robbing this bank instead Fred should have shot him there for being stupid but just shook his head
They went into the bank and once inside the guns came out they yelled this is a stick up but everyone kept walking about
So they just walked to a teller who was hot like a jar of honey Fred said to her in a very deep voice miss can you please give us all your money
She looked at Fred and smiled then she saw the guns then she frown she asked do you have an account with us because I never seen you before around town
Fred said no miss I do not have an account with this bank she replied sorry sir you may not withdraw any money from the bank unless you have an account at the bank your request is denied
Fred then laughed really do you think this a joke he pointed the gun at her said fill the bags with money and I’m thirsty give me that coke
She handed him the coke and the bags she began to fill When she was done she handed the bags back to us all fill of money her tag said her name was Jill
She was single and Ned had called her a jar of honey She smiled at Ned and asked may I have your address please to send you a receipt for the money
Fred said why do we need a receipt you tease she said so I can mail you a receipt on how much money you received the on your taxes you won’t have to deceive
Ned gave her our address and we walked out into the street we went into a store bought some new clothes and we looked really neat
We then called a taxi since we could pay who took us to get pot to get us high today
We got some new phones and called some dames who we picked up on the way We started laughing how easy it was taking money from that  today
We arrived home to find our house was surrounded by tanks when they got out of the taxi the cops took all the money from the bank
The sent us to city jail were they locked us up and now we really have no pot cause they held us without bail