Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

All the words and actions of presence say i should be completely secure. But literally everything else tells me to get ready for something (protect myself from getting hurt soon). It used to be %20 undefined %40 all in secure & %40 flight mode this is a bucket of res flags on top of a giant red flag. Now its more like %100 secure, every now and again for a brief period & the vast majority of the time is a consistent %100 be aware and careful because she's dropping hints and switching up here and there consistently with one thing or another and she has absolutely ZERO patience, tolerance and desire for understanding anything that has to do with you.

 Im not gunna talk about love etc. Thats one thing im sure of on my end but it doesn't have to encompass everything in the relationship. There has be basic functioning necessities met like give & take, mutal interest in everything that is each of our lives and not one playing 21 questions everytime and the ither never being curious or interested about anything.

 TRUST TRUST TRUST is a make then break come & go thing but ultimately a dead and beat trust will end any relationship its just a matter of how long

Again, patience understanding consideration & empathy etc all the big floppy soft dick ones are needed on some level at least

Last one goes hand in hand with trust but, although its tricky and doesn't have to be consistent (context sensitive), HONESTY!!!!

when i look at the wheeles or whatever spelled out that make shit actually function, its obvious that(although not completely one sided) its tipped in one persons favor way more & way more often than the other.

 Theres a million reasons why that could be ok or why that would exist but most likely its just a big fucking genuine RED flag, right?